Questions Answered
Monday, July 23, 2012 at 9:27PM
Melinda Murphy Hiemstra

We started our day like we start many days: Skyping with family and friends. I often think how different it'd be to move overseas without the Internet. My aunt, uncle and cousins lived in Asia 50+ years ago and my friend Yasmin lived in Hong Kong 15 years ago. It's far easier moving to the other side of the globe when you can keep in touch easily. Of course, I don't always hear the "phone" ringing. We have AC, but each room has it's own unit which is kind of loud. It's not a window unit, but it's a unit, just the same.

This time, we were on the phone with Tom's dad, stepmother and our dog, Digby. My friend Jodi wanted to know where Digby is. She's spending the first two months with them on their farm in upstate New York. Then she'll go hang with some good friends near us in Chappaqua who have three kids and a massive house. There Golden recently died so they are very excited about Digby coming to stay. We did a test run and they just adored her. She'll never want to come home!

I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss that crazy ball of fur. At first, Hudson walked around saying, 'Where's Digby?" Maisie talks about her all day long. Today, she said, "I'm very sad about Digby," so seeing her on Skype once in a while has been really helpful for us all. I'm not sure Digby sees us, but she's having a ball so she's fine. In the meantime, we have to pet all the dogs in the complex to get our puppy fix.

This has not been an easy change for Maisie. Heck, going from circle time to snack time at school wasn't easy. Transitions are incredibly hard for children with sensory integration disorder. I've tried very hard to get her into some sort of schedule in the mornings and afternoons, filling the middle of the days with things that I think will be good for her like water play and kids-oriented museums. I simply haven't found the right mix just yet. She waivers between massive meltdowns and inability to settle down, a hyperactivity most kids only get after downing ten or more sodas. Add to that the almost-four behaviour of back-talk and newfound independence and I'm ready to pull a Mrs. Kramer versus Kramer and head to California.

I think she likes it here - we all do - but the tourist part of our life has probably been overstimulating for her. The only time I can manage her is when she's watching TV or playing with an electronic toy - or so it often feels. 

I think if we lived here, things might be different as she'd have a routine - school, therapists, activities and hte like, but for now, life is a crap shoot. I wake up every morning with a pit in my stomach terrified of yet another nightmarish day with Maisie. Her tantrums aren't like other kids. They can last for hours. Hudson just stares at her. Last week, she drew a self-portrait of her crying and one of me smiling. It absolutely broke my heart.

I often wonder what Cheryl thinks. I've explained Maisie's Sensory Processing Disorder, but I'm not sure she quite gets it as English is her second language. She RARELY offers advice though I'm sure she has plenty. I know she absolutely loves Typhaine, Fred and their baby Emmeline. She obviously misses them with all her heart. She teared up when I showed her a picture I had Typhaine email me of the baby.

All to say that today, I decided to have a low-key day. That's hard for me because I'm the kind of traveler who wants to leave by 7 and get home at midnight, taking in as much as I can. Obviously, I haven't been doing that with the kids, but not doing anything touristy at all today was pretty hard for me. Of course, if we live here, that will be the norm so this was a good test day of sorts.

We did a lot of crafts this morning. I took the kids out to the pool area where Hudson got to play ball and they both stalked the turtles and koi in the "river" near the pool. That's how life would be here. If we moved to Singapore permanently, we'd have to find a place with more outdoor space or a playground in the complex. My kids are wildly energetic. They need outdoor space as do I. We simply can't afford to go to an indoor playground each and every day. Of course, we'd also have all our toys which would make entertaining them inside a lot easier. The neighbor downstairs has complained about the noise. I'm guessing we'd need a "landed" home here - which means a house with a yard. Tiny kids and apartment complexes don't necessarily mix.

Eventually, we all ventured out for lunch. Maisie chose the restaurant, a Vietnamese joint around the corner from us. Have I mentioned there is a ROW of restaurants near us with every kind of Asian food you can imagine with a 7-11 smack dab in the middle of the street? 7-11s are everywhere. Anyway, Maisie wanted Vietnamese and she actually ate a ton of different things there. Yea! We were with Cheryl. I hate it when my kids waste food, but all the more when Cheryl is with us. She breast fed her kids til they were four because she didn't have money for food.

The most wassteful thing we've done was getting mani/pedis today. I felt like Maisie and I needed a little mother/daughter time and though I do crafts with her or read to her, it's hard to have time for just us two in an apartment so off to the mall we went.

Orchard Central is one of the biggest malls in town. I think there are 12 floors, maybe more. It has a giant rock-climbing wall and a big roof garden. Turns out, mani/pedis here aren't as nice as ones at home and pricey as all get out - 1/5 of Cheryl's monthly salary! ! I'll need to look around or visit the building with the four floors of whores. I didn't think that was really the place to take Maisie. If all pedicures are that expensive, it'll be the last time Maisie gets her naisl done!

Since I didn't do anything all that special today, let me answer some of your questions. My cousin George wants to know about traffic here. Believe it or not, there's very little, all things considered. That's because there is a HUGE tax on cars here. Get ready to bend over and grab your ankles: a Honda Accord can cost about $180,000! Seriously. Unbelievably, Singaporeans drive really nice cars. The streets are filled with sports cars and luxury SUVs. I have no idea where folks get the money. Taxis are mostly blue and really cheap. People drive on the "wrong" side of the street and the driver sits on the right. The local tire shop is around the corner and the work is done on cars while they are parked on the street. Oh - and get this - there are signs all over the city that show how many spaces are available in the five closest parking lots at that very minute!

My cousin Kelli asked me how Tom can get to work without getting drenched in sweat. He can't. He takes an extra shirt with him! Amazingly, nobody smells like BO here. Speaking of shirts, he already got five made for himself. I've got to get shopping! Here I am in the middle of the shopping meccas of meccas and I haven't bought a single thing! I need my friend Nickie to come visit - or my brother's girlfriend Virginia. Those gals know how to shop!

Things are very expensive here, but like anywhere, you have to know where to look. Tom bought a slice of pizza for $8.50, but found a slice across the street from that same place for $4.00.  It's still not NY's $2, but it's closer. My Haagen Dazs cost me - are you ready for this - $12! Oh well - I don't need to eat it anyway. Good restaurants have plastic demo food in the window to show you what you're getting when you order. It cracks me up.

The money is gorgeous and the watermarks are see-thru. The exchange rate is $1 Sg to $.79 US.

Everybody wants to know, "How hot is it?" Imagine walking into a sauna and staying there all day. Right before we left, I talked my friend Tia into taking the kids to Sesame Place with me during the heat wave. The real temperature was 105 and everybody thought we were crazy. That's a normal day here. Today will be 90 with a humidity of 74%. The real feel temperature is 109. However, every single space inside is over-airconditioned so if you get too hot, you just dip inside a building to cool off. Singapore is very close to the equator and is a rain forest. We do have rain, but only one day so far has been nothing but rain. Typically, when it rains, there's a tropical downpour and then it gets sunny again or at least that's our experience so far. Rain is more challenging when you are pushing a stroller so I wear a slicker which isn't much fun in this heat! We are all doused in sunblock from the minute we climb out of bed and I'm still incredibly tan. Tom forgot to put some on his back when we went to Sentosa and he looks like a lobster! I arrived with medicine from my dermatologist in tow to keep me from breaking out in the humidity. Ha! It doesn't work.

We've spent most of our time in the Central District, near Orchard tho we have obviously ventured out to areas north (the zoo), south (Sentosa) and outlying burbs (Chinatown and the Science Center area). I haven't yet visited the areas where we might want to live.  

Cheryl and I have now figured out what we need to take for our outings and we pack the stroller to the hilt: sippy cups, bathing suits, socks for all, a clean shirt for Hudson to wear after lunch (he makes a mess with noddles!), diapers, wipes, a map, sunglasses for all, my wallet and camera. The most important things are their phones. Each kid has one of our old cell phones loaded with games. We use them to keep the kids quiet on the subway. Kids here sit very nicely on subways, at restaurants and the like and never, ever seem to whine. I read that's because Asians - particularly the Chinese - are incredibly strict and use corporal punishment. Their kids don't dare misbehave so when minr do, we get all sorts of looks. I'm not into whacking my kids.  I use time outs and take away priviledges and, lately, I yell a lot all to no avail. So I guess the phones will just have to be a must for now.

Thank you all for your emails. I'm sorry I haven't answered all of them. I try to keep this blog to keep folks up-to-date. I REALLY love hearing what YOU'RE up to back at home so please keep them coming and I'll try to answer when I can. 

Love to everybody!

 

 

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