What to do? What to do?

Today was about figuring out if what's good for the goose is good for the gander. 

Most of the decision about whether or not we move here has to do with Tom's job. If he thinks there is enough business to support opening an office here, we'll most likely move. The jury is still out on his end. However, the decision is not all his. All along we've said that the kids and I also get veto power.

I spent the morning with a friend of a friend. Susan is an occupational therapist here at a private therapy company called Dynamics. The facility came highly recommended by the pediatrician who evaluated Maisie a few weeks ago. Susan gave me a tour of Dynamics which is much like any sensory gym in the United States. She also gave me the low down on schools for Maisie.

Basically? If a kid has a diagnosis of any sort - sensory, ADHD, ADD, autism - even dyslexia - the big schools won't accept them. So the admissions guy I met at the Singapore American School basically lied to me. And there I was feeling all buddy buddy because he told me about his arranged marriage. Truth is, the big schools simply won't take her. There are too many other kids who want to go to school there who don't need additional support. True, they do have speech services in house, but there are literally only a handful of kids there who need extra help.

There are two options. We can put her into one of the two international schools here that specialize in special education. As I understand it, both schools have two parts - a mainstream division and a special ed division. The goal is to mainstream the kids as much as possible with special ed support. Those schools are Dover Court and Integrated International School.

The other option is to get her into one of the international preschools, hope that she tests out and then transfer her into one of the big international schools. They recommended Eton House or Little Hands, a Montessori.

I've seen Eton House and have been in touch with Dover. I need to get on the horn tomorrow and schedule meetings with the others.

The whole thing has just made me plain sad. She'll still get a great education, but I hate that she has to be classified as special. That could be hard on her ego as she grows older. We all remember how mean kids were to the kids on the little bus. She is NOT a special ed student as we'd classify her in the States. 

Not only did I learn about what Maisie can do here, I also learned about what I can do.

Anybody who knows me knows I mourned - am still mourning - my television career. Redefining myself has proven impossible for me and I'm simply stuck. I miss having my own identity, but everything I consider pales in comparison to what I did before so I make no moves. I did look at some baby photos tonight though and it made me realize just how fast those kids are growing. I feel even luckier that I've been able to be home with them.

Most women here are facing that same kind of struggle in some capacity. Many worked or had very involved lives back home. They followed their husband's careers here and are now trying to figure out what to do with themselves. To address that, the Americans Women's Association had a lunch. I took my Australian friend Heather with me and we listened to the four speakers.

The first was an Aggie name Monica who is now an editor at ExPat Living, a really well done magazine here in Singapore. The second was also a Texan who is now a preschool teacher and who happens to live next door to an on-air reporter at CNN. The last two women were partners in a jewelry business they launched here. By the way, there are a lot of Texans here because there is a lot of oil here.

While all of the women were decent speakers, none gave any kind of solid information, only recounted their own personal journies of growth. I wanted nuts and bolts. I wanted to hear this is how you get a work permit, this is where you find out about x and y. It was still interesting and it definitely got those wheels turning. I know me: I won't sleep tonight thinking once again about work, plunged back into the grief and indecision. At least I did a little networking today. In some ways, I think it might be easier to work here because my experience is unique here and not so much at home. Yup, there's lots to ponder.

Fully depressed, I spent the afternoon getting my roots done and doing a little retail therapy. Get a load of this really oddball shampoo chair! You literally have to lay down to wash your hair. It's the most comfortable shampoo chair in the world. Unfortunately, getting your hair washed here just can't compare with a good scrub at home. 

The salon sits on the Singapore River which is currently decked out for the Mooncake Festival.

 Silk-clad floats dot the river and boardwalk. They're kind of like smaller versions of The Rose Parade or Thanksgiving Parade floats, but they're silk and parked for two weeks so lots of folks can see them! I can't wait to bring the kids to look!

Tom also brought home a mooncake. The others I've had were made out of Lotus paste. This one was chestnut paste, yummy, but not something I'd jump out of a boat to save.

Speaking of, I could do all this stuff because Chery took care of the kids. God, I love this helper thing - moslty because Cheryl is so great! I'm not sure that's true of all of them.

Two other good things to report: My Uncle Jim is doing really well and is staying at my cousin Dana's house. Also Hudson went to school today with JOY! Wahoo!!!

Custom Made

 

I'm the only member of Team Hiemstra who isn't having a birthday while we're in Singapore. Heck, even Digby had a birthday while we were apart! Sigh. 

Tom has decided he wants a custom-made suit which is one of the "things to do" here in Singapore. He already bought five shirts from this one tailor who came highly recommended and happens to be literally around the corner from Tom's office. The shirts fit pretty darn nice, too. His present isn't much of a surprise this year as I had to send him to get measured for the jacket, but I have other tricks up my sleeve about which he doesn't know. Tee hee!

So today, I headed down to the tailor at Raffles Place. What a cool thing to do! I picked out the material and lining and the style - though, in truth - Tom dictated what he wanted. Like I said, there's not much of a surprise this year. I'd love a dress made, but not until I remake my physique a bit first which means if we don't move back here, I won't be getting a custom dress. I forgot to take pictures of the place, but will when I pick up the suit.

I got to Raffles Place a bit early and meandered over to The Fullerton Bay Hotel, one of Singapore's newest additions on the Marina Bay. In fact, it sits directly across from the Marina Sands and the hotel rooftop pool has a pretty incredible view. The inside is quite special, too. I particularly liked a counter made out of old luggage.

Since I still had time to kill, I decided to grab some coffee at this Indian place in the basement of one of the buildings. Most basements have great places to eat here. Anyway, I saw this other woman buying something kind of cool looking so I got it, too. I needed it like a hole in the head, but I love trying new things and I've been kind of slack the past few days. It was called a "string hopper" which was kind of weird, but yummy. At first glance, it looks like a white, super flat funnel cake with a bunch of strings about the size of yarn all intertwined to make a pancake. The strings are made out of rice and it's served cold. Then the guy sprinkled orange sugar and coconut on top. Yum! My coffee? Hot ginger coffee which was absolutely delicious!

I learned more about the mooncake festival today, too. The mooncakes you want to eat aren't the cheapie ones we got last night 5 for S$2. Nope. The ones you want are custom made by the top restaurants in the city.

Vendors from each top spot were lined up at Raffles Place, each with different kinds of mooncakes to hawk. They come in these gorgeous boxes.

 

Some are about the size of the palm of your hand. Others are maybe the size of a silver dollar. All have really beautiful designs on them. I had grand plans to bring some back for everybody, but the good ones only last a week. The colorful ones are smaller and are called snowskin. They come in flavors like banana passion fruit and get this... 8 cost S$60! Some cost that much for just 4!!! I'm thinking maybe I just need to go to a nice restaurant and order one. They really are beautiful though.

All this whilie my kids were at school. Oh my gosh. How I love both kids being in school! I can be a person again! The best part? No tears from Hudson today! And Maisie's teacher sent pictures of her at school last week. She apparently had the starring role as Little Bo Peep. 

Of course, after school, they're still crazy nutcases. I actually bought them "Kung Fu Panda" thinking that they might like it because we're going to see both Kung Fu and panda bears on our upcoming vacation in China. Oh they liked it alright - and kept practicing Kung Fu on each other all afternoon. Lucky mommy! Swimming was our only out. Both kids love it and both kids hate to stop. I was as ready for bed as they were - and I only had them half a day!

Party on!

America is known as the melting pot, but in some ways, Singapore is the ultimate Asian melting pot. There are giant populations of folks here from just about everywhere in Asia with a bunch of expats sprinkled in for good measure. The schools generally celebrate two of every religious holidays which I think is a pretty cool way for a kid to get exposed to the world. One of the biggest Chinese holidays is The Mooncake Festival, also known as the Mid-Autumn Festival which kicked off today.

I was chomping at the bits to go check it out and for good reason. The two main streets of Chinatown are now covered by a canopy of brightly colored lanterns. The main side street had lots of folks hawking lanterns and other Chinese crap. It is absolutely beautiful - and that was before they turned on the lights!

 

Since we got there a little early, we first grabbed dinner with Hudson shoveling in his new favorite dish of fried rice and Tom trying Chili Crabs for the first time. The famous Singaporean crabs really are good (and expensive!), but man, it takes a lot of messy effort just to get a little nugget of meat! 

 

The festival is a lunar harvest celebration celebrated the 15th day of the eight day of the Chinese year which is around the autumnal equinox. Because the moon is round, there is a tradition of eating round things, like specially made mooncakes and pomelos which are GIANT grapefruit-type globes.

Mooncakes come in all shapes and sizes. The traditional one has an egg yolk inside - not my favorite. We got the kids cakes tonight and they were a bit like giant Fig Newtons. Neither kid finished a whole one, but they liked them - and so did I! Sadly, my camera was acting up so my photos were a bit fuzzy. Bummer.

There is also a tradition of lighting lanterns because, hey - lanterns are round and lit brightly, just like the moon. On the last night of the festival - which happens to be Tom's birthday on the 29th - kids walk with lit lanterns through the streets of Singapore. We're still debating whether or not we attempt it with the kids.

Our realtor Wendy is Chinese and she told me she remembers making the lanterns as a little girl and walking with a real candle inside in total terror that she'd catch her lantern on fire, but nobody's ever did. Nowdays, you put an electric candle inside or - worse yet - you buy a cheapie one that is prelit. They even sell PLASTIC lanterns. That just seems wrong - even to me, a Westerner. I'm thinking I may sneak back over the next few days and buy a couple of cool lanterns to take home. What better way to decorate for our obligational Singaporean dinner that we'll need to cook for our famliy and friends?!

In Taiwan, the lit lanterns are floated into the air, kind of like the story of "Tangled." (If you have little kids, you've seen the Disney version of Rapunzel). Lanterns aren't just Asian. Tom told me that in Holland as a little boy they used to celebrate the The Festival of Sintmaarten by carrying lit lanterns and getting candy. It was a little like our Halloween, but I'm thinking it must've have been cold in November! Brrr.

Anyway, on the Mooncake Festival's opening night, there is a big ceremony complete with lion dances, fireworks and, of course, the lighting of the lanterns. Truth is, Tom and I couldn't see much anyway though Maisie and Hudson had great seats on our shoulders, towering above the Asian population. Since the ceremony started at 7 - their bedtime - the kids were just getting too pooped so we only caught one thing: the dragon dance. Hudson was really funny about it, screaming from my shoulders, "Dragon! Dragon!" much to the delight of the blond-baby-loving Chinese! I really wanted to stay longer and try to see the whole ceremony and the lanterns light up, but when Hudson said, "Home. Nap. Bobo (his lovey)," that was that. 

This morning, I took Tom and the kids to Dempsey Hill's Jones the Grocer because they have an amazing brunch, something Tom has been craving. The plan was to then walk around and wait for the kids to fall asleep in the stroller. They'd get a nap before tonight and we'd get to do a little shopping. I was hoping to buy THE trinket from stroller. No nap. No shopping. No fireworks. Bummer. Oh well, that just means I get to back by myself and buy something really cool! Ha!

move over fireman sam!

I really wish my nephew Tyler could have been here today, but I guess a 23-hour flight is just a bit too far for a weekend visit, eh? You see, at six-years-old, Tyler is the eldest grandchild. He’s been in love with firefighters since I can remember. Well, let me tell you young man, Singapore is the place to be if you are a fan of big, red trucks!

Every Saturday from 9AM-11AM, all of the firehouses in Singapore are open to the public. The oldest and I'm guessing biggest one is The Central Fire Station located on Hill Street. Built in 1908, it's one of the most beautiful firehouses I have ever seen. I never got a very good picture of the front of it, so please open the link I attached and look at the images.

When I say open to the public, I really mean open to the public. Little kids of all shapes, sizes and nationalities were allowed to climb all over the firetrucks, wear the gear and even hold the hoses! Tyler is not the only little kid who loves firetrucks!

Usually, the kids get to climb on these mini-firetrucks called Red Rhinos. They’re real trucks that kind of look like funky sports cars. Hudson thought sitting in it was an absolute hoot. He even tried on the helmet for a split second and was one of the first to volunteer to hold the water gun that’s a part of that truck. He refused to stand next to a firefighter decked out in total gear, including the face mask. Ha! 

The firefighters also demonstrated how to slide down the pole, something Hudson tries to do at every playground we visit. Turns out, Singaporeans slide down poles in a very different way than Americans, kind of holding the pole behind them.

Today, we got a special treat because a big pumper truck came back from a call so the kids got to look at all sorts of equipment up close as the firefighters put it all back.They had to empty the hoses before they stored them and Hudson was the first kid to notice. He got to hold the actual hose and work the nozzle. He was in love!

Maisie? Not so much. She was very excited to go see the firehouse yesterday when I first told her, but she woke up in a bad way today. Her sensory issues were flaring up probably because she’s worn out from school. So the noise from the trucks, the water from the hoses and the commotion in general frayed her every nerve. It was also INCREDIBLY hot in the firehouse yard and that wasn’t helping (I felt so sorry for the guy sporting the uniform for us!) I bought a Gatorade-type soda called “100.” Maisie calls it spicy water. One sip of that and she cheered up, finally agreeing to climb into the big firetruck and stand near the ambulance. That cheer lasted all of about 60 seconds and then she wanted to go. Now you know why I didn’t get a good picture of the front of the building.

That’s a shame because attached to the firehouse is a very cool, interactive museum for kids. Maybe I’ll try to take them to that one day later in the week as it’s open every day, but Monday.

This afternoon, we took the kids to see a local college production of "The Arabian Nights." Gosh - Maisie just ate it up. She's finally old enough to understand they are actors in costumes playing make believe characters. What fun! Hudson just kept asking for water over and over. Sigh. 

The afternoon ended with a swim and on time bedtime. The kids were just plain worn out. If things go well, we'll hit the Mooncake Festival opening ceremonies tomorrow. Fingers crossed they sleep well!

The Tantrums, The Holy Grail, The Houses

Ay yi yi. What a day! I'm worn out. Absolutely, totally and completely exhausted.

Hudson must be, too. Poor tyke had his worst day on the planet yet, I'm certain of it. He cried in the taxi before we even got to school yelling, "That way! That way!" and pointing in the opposite direction of the school. When I picked him up at 11:45 (15 minutes later than usual, by design), we went to the mall across the street from his school to ride those stupid little rides that cost a quarter when I was little. Now, they're $2 a pop!

When it was time to go pick up Maisie, I had to rip him away from the rides and he started crying - wailing really. He wailed leaving the mall, crossing the street, going up the stairs, waiting for Maisie, back down the stairs, all the way home in the taxi and for 15 minutes more at home. All told? 45 minutes! He fell asleep with his lunch in his hand on the floor!

After he woke up, he went swimming, padding around the pool with his safety belt. Again, he melted down leaving the pool (so did Maisie!). Once he recovers, he's again the most joyful child on the planet, but dear God... when he is sad, he is really sad!

Rumor has it that he likes school - once he gets in the door. His teachers are kind enough to call me about a half hour after I drop him off to reassure me things are going well. Later, they send photos as back up to prove he's happy!

Funny, I expected Maisie to have a hard time. Instead, she seems to be adjusting really well with no real issues. 

 

That's good news because I also went to see the Singapore American School today, The Holy Grail for us. Why? Because it is the one school in town that is world class, yet also has the right services for her. SAS is an American-based school. If you have an American passport, you are moved to the top of the wait list. The student body is from 54 countries, but 70% American. I actually kind of wish it was more mixed. I mean, if you're going to live here, meet folks from other places, right?

The school is in the Woodlands, the northernmost neighborhood of Singapore. Lots of expats live there, but it's too far out for me - a full 30 minutes from the city. I hear it's a bad idea to live there when you first get here because the wives get depressed so isolated from town. 

The 16-year-old campus is fairly large. I didn't get a tour of the whole place, just the Early Childhood Center. It was nice - really nice! Moreso, I liked what I saw the teachers teaching. The kids were having fun, but learning a lot it seemed. To me, fun is the key to learning.

I really debated about whether or not to mention Maisie's sensory issues as I'd heard I shouldn't if I wanted to get her into the school. In the end, I decided honesty is the best policy. I met with the senior admissions guy and he was GREAT! The thing is, they only have so much room for kids who need services and if the kid has severe disabilities, they simply can't handle it. So in truth, if a child gets in under false pretenses and they realize there are issues, they might kick them out of school. Imagine how hard that is on the kid! The nice thing is the conversation we had is between us and is not a part of the admission process - or so he says. He explained that the other schools hire outside therapists to come in and work with the students. SAS has it's own staff of speech therapists and psychologists, but not OTs - what Maisie needs most.

He gave me all sorts of advice about the waiting game with both Maisie's needs as well as when it's most likely for a spot to open. If we apply for January, then she'd have two chances to get in by next year - January and August. If we wait to apply for August, then her evaluations would probably be better and she won't show to need as much therapy. It's a Catch-22. There is a MASSIVE fee to apply and be on the wait list - a non-refundable fee whether she's ever accepted or not - even if she's deemed not eligible for admission! Again, it's the same old racket. This school is incredibly expensive, too. 50% more than SAIS. We can buy a small house for what tuition costs. Sigh.

Then there's the bus thing. True, the busses come to your door and pick up each kid individually. What that really means, however, is that the kids are on the bus for 45 minutes or more. Some kids get picked up at 6:45! If Maisie gets out of bed before 7, she's a disaster and her sensory issues are at their worst. There is simply no way she can get on a bus that early. Period. This is true for all the international schools. The only way to really combat that is to be on an express bus which is available at VERY few complexes. Even then, I think she'd have to be on the bus at 7:30. The other thing to do is drive, but we can't afford a car here. 

I found myself sick to my stomach hating Singapore all over again.

This afternoon, I spent the afternoon with Wendy, my realtor. This time, she took me to three, very different houses - two in Bukit Timah, the last in Holland Village.

The first house was a traditional Chinese house with very little updating. It was 5000 square feet with four massive bedrooms. One bathroom had canary yellow Formica counters! The spaces were huge, but this house isn't for me. I like old houses - when I can update them! Plus, the location was kind of hard to reach. 

The second house was an amazingly modern home - all glass and sleek, well-designed spaces. This 4 bedroom, 5000 square foot house also had a nice little yard and koi pond that opened into the living area. The storage was really well done and there was even a massive "extra" room on the top floor with a big rooftop deck. I loved it! However, it's not all that close to anything. There'd be room for a playroom on the first room and a family/guest room, too. And as new as it is, the laundry is still outside. That always cracks me up!

As an aside: next door, a Chinese family was setting up for a first birthday party complete with a special canopy and generator being delivered. This is the same kind of set up for a Chinese funeral. Incredible!

The last house was also pretty neat. The woman living there is from Louisiana. It was very similarly decorated to the house where I stayed in Baton Rouge when I covered Katrina - all marble and fancy bathrooms. The main living area was quiet grande with an ultra high, medallioned ceiling. The kitchen was fine. On the second floor was an office sitting area and two bedrooms each with en suite bathrooms. The third floor had a junior master with a bathroom as well as the master with a walk-in-closet, makeup area and huge bathroom. The basement was the key. It was massive with a wet bar and lots of storage! So in this house we'd have a playroom, office and guest room. It's very close to the MRT and a big park - but not so close to anything else like town or a grocery store. A taxi to town would only be 15 minutes or so and the same would be true of a trip to SAS.

I'm not sure. I love the space that a house gives us, but we can live in a far nicer house in the US for less rent. While a part of me yearns for that space, I think I'm leaning towards living in a condo as the condos are more centrally located, more well-appointed and more social. Plus, it's a unique experience to live in a condo. I hear if we stay a long time, we'll be more likely to move out to "the burbs" and get a house - kind of like NYC. It's nice to know there are some great houses out there if that's our path. 

I'm looking forward to a calm night! Cheryl is cooking Mee Siam, a Malaysian dish. Yea!