Entries by Melinda Murphy Hiemstra (112)

Friday
Aug102012

What's up, Doc?

NOTE: BUMMER! I've tried and tried, but the pictures keep replacing themselve with the same photo. The site management folks are working on things. Bear with me! 

 

It finally happened. I finally ate something I hated here. Not bad when you consider I’ve been here for a month now and I make a point of trying something new every single day!

The culprit is called Nasi Lemak. It LOOKED good, a banana-leaf wrapped bundle advertised as one of the house specialties. I’ve had other banana-leaf wrapped delights so I was all excited - until I opened my pouch!

 OH MY GOD! Quick - wrap it up! Wrap it up! It smelled to high heaven. There was some sort of dried fish (complete with head!) under some rice with a weird sauce (shrimp paste perhaps?) 

When I went back to get something else, a patron nearby came over concerned. “Is your rice not hot enough? They’ll heat it for you.” “No, sorry. I just don’t like it.” She looked hurt and stunned.

I’ve had food at this place before - a chain called “Toast Box.” They’re known for something called kaya toast which is a favorite here in Singapore. Basically? It’s white toast with the crust cut off, slathered with some kind of jam and a SLICE of butter. Now that was good!

 

Two things really impressed me about this place: the man making the coffee prepared it a bit like the Moroccans make tea. He poured steaming coffee from pot to pot and then did this massive pour - from way up in the air. What fun to watch! Though the guys in Morocco add another two feet of air to the pour.

 

The other thing took my breath away. I saw it and said, “Oh Uncle Jim!” Why Uncle Jim? Because nobody I know in the world likes butter like my Uncle Jim. This butter (margarine actually) was a mound at least two feet high - maybe more! YUM!

 

Today was interesting, too, because I had to take Hudson to the doctor to get his Hep A booster. It was too soon to get it at home before we left. The practice was recommended to me by Typhaine and was actually kind of... dare I say...serene. The waiting room was like a specialist waiting room in the U.S. There was nice furniture and a few toys. Outside in the front yard of grass sat a small playground. The doctor I saw only just moved here from the U.K. last year. She spent a long time with me talking about Maisie primarily.

Maisie has sensory integration disorder and qualifies for a lot of therapy. A big part of the reason we live in Chappaqua is because they have some of the best free services in the country. Next year, she’s supposed to get OT 2x a week, speech 2x a week and a SEIT (special therapist who works in the classroom) 5 days a week.

As I already pretty much knew, it’s going to be hard to match that here. Very few schools offer therapy at all and I am now in touch with all of them. I can possibly arrange to take her to one of two hospitals who offer services. Maisie could probably be fine without therapy as I think she’ll eventually test out of services, but one more year of therapy would definitely help her.

So that’s a big thing to consider when we make our decision about moving here.  

Hudson? Oh he wailed and wailed - until the nurse gave him a Starburst :-)

We're driving to Malacca (or Melaka) Malaysia tomorrow so I'll miss a day or two of blogging. Also, please note that I have figured out why my pictures were repeating (user error!) and now all the  photos SHOULD be right!

Thursday
Aug092012

Singapore National Day!

First off, yay - yay  - Tom made it back from Shanghai! Just in time to celebrate Singapore's 47th birthday.

WOW! I mean - WOW!

Singapore is a city state so the whole freakin' country celebrates in one spot: Marina Bay. It's also a totalitarian government so they go all out. Imagine the military pomp of the Washington DC celebration and glitz of New York's fireworks. That's what we saw! 

Even cooler? They PRACTICE! For three weeks now, they've been doing fireworks every Saturday night and military planes have been practicing all sorts of formations as well. The first Saturday night I actually thought we were under attack! Ha! By the way, I was told tonight that Singapore only gets 40 minutes a day of their own air space so most of the military air force trains in the US. 

 

For the big bash, we scored an invitation to Connie & Joe's 54th floor apartment in The Sail, an apartment building that overlooks Marina Bay. I mean - it was the place to be. Fabulous view and air-conditioned is hard to beat. Even better? There were 20 adults and 6 toddlers! Toddlers! At a fancy apartment! Oh and wait - it gets even better... there were hot dogs for the kids and fabulous food for the adults. SCORE!

They have one of the nicest apartments I have ever seen - all courtesy of Exxon where Joe works, of course. The views are spectacular with a 180 degree view of the skyline. Equally nice, the floor plan is really open and inviting. Our hosts were the nicest people. I really liked them. Heather asked Connie to invite us. I only met her yesterday. I mean - they invited total strangers to their apartment for such a special event. People here are very gracious and quite international. The guest list read like a roll call at the U.N.

 

The kids had an absolute BALL! I mean - a ball (so did we!). They played with toys, gobbled up food and screamed their lungs out at the fireworks. It was really darn cute. We watched the shindig on TV since we were literally miles away from the stage. It was quite interesting because the costumes and performances were decidedly Asian. When the fireworks started, we had a front row seat. I've never been ABOVE the fireworks before... it was freaking cool. Across the bay sat the Marina Bay Sands hotel and the super trees of the Gardens, lit up like Christmas trees.

It wasn't just fireworks. Oh no... that was just a part of it. There were two concert stages going full tilt all afternoon. We could hear one when we opened the windows (cool, but unnerving!). Dragonboats and military boats crisscrossed the harbor while huge freighters sat out in the open water. Paratroopers soared to the ground with trails of red smoke behind them. Jets roared through the air in various formations making the loudest noises I've ever heard. Since we were so high up, it was like they were buzzing our apartment just for us. The crowd was all dressed in red so the view was a virtual sea of red. It was a spectacle in every sense of the word. Lucky us! Silly me - I only brought my telephoto lens so it was hard to capture the whole feel.

The kids got to bed three hours late so tomorrow will be a rough one. Sigh.

Here's a list I found.

  • Nine planes will make up the fly-by, including six F-16 Falcons
  • Four navy boats will create a heart shape in Marina Bay's waves
  • 200,000 Lego bricks make up a 12 x 9m scale model of the NDP celebrations
  • 2,000 National Day Parade participants
  • 30,000 viewers from the stands
  • 33m-wide LED screens shaped like Singapore
  • Eight smaller screens that accompany the main one
  • 5,573m² is the size of the stage
  • 10.25m is the height the elevated stage will rise to
  • 1,070 Tons of weight that can be handled by the steel Float@Marina Bay
  • $1 million is the sum estimated to be spent on the fireworks display
Wednesday
Aug082012

Help or Hindrance

When I first got here, woman after woman warned me about being too nice to your helper. I thought they were downright evil. "What's wrong with you? People are people," I thought. "How can you treat them like labor when they're living with you?" 

Well, tonight I may have an inkling what they mean.

Before I write another word, let me again say how very much I like Cheryl. She has taken great care of our family while we've been here. I've asked her to go to all sorts of things with us - things two toddlers and I couldn't have done without her - things she enjoyed doing. She's kept me company, done our laundry, made amazing meals, calmed my cranky kids, cleaned the house, gone to the store - I mean - she's done it all. In short, she's been great. I feel so very blessed that our "host" family is away and we're able to "borrow" her.

I'm sharing Cheryl now. The people from whom we're subletting have this apartment - the guest apartment - and their own apartment where friends of theirs are now staying. Today was their day with Cheryl. I've really missed Cheryl's help. It's amazing how fast you can get used to somebody doing things for you - like making breakfast or washing swim trunks with poop on them (yes, I figured out how to use the washing machine today). Even though she's dividing her time between two families, she's still doing an amazing job! I have no idea how she's keeping up - with nary a complaint either!

Unfortunately, Hudson threw another giant fit in the grocery store tonight (what's wrong with that kid?) so I couldn't buy the fruit I needed to make the promised fruit salad for tomorrow night's National Day party. I wasn't sure the grocery store would be open tomorrow. Additonally, Cheryl has tomorrow off because of the holiday. Between a rock and a hard place, I texted Cheryl and asked her if she'd mind babysitting when she got home tonight so I could run to the grocery store - an errand that would take no more than a half hour while the kids slept. She said she'd help me. I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal since she lives here with us. I thought she'd come in for the night after she fed the other family dinner and I'd run out. 

She showed up at 9. Because I thought she'd be here earlier, I kept waiting and waiting, figuring I'd pick up a quick meal at the hawker stall on the end of the corner next to the grocery store. By the time she arrived, I was starving. 

She obviously thought I wanted her to go to the store because she showed up with a friend. I explained I wanted to go and asked if she'd mind staying here. 

I was gone 24 minutes. 

In that time, she and her friend started to watch a movie and fold laundry, though there was a lot more watching than folding. I ate my dinner at the table while they continued to watch TV five feet away from me. Then what was I supposed to do? Tell her to turn off the movie so I could watch the TV I wanted to watch? Our apartment isn't that big. It's not like I can go to the basement to watch TV while she's in the family room. Uh... no. I just wanted to put on my PJs and mindlessly channel surf (the Olympics here was yet another night of ping pong).

It's awkward because she has watched TV with me the past couple of weeks when the Olympics were being televised. Everybody kept telling me that was a big no-no and that you shouldn't share your space like that. But come on? What am I supposed to do? Say, "No, you can't watch the Olympics"? She obviously loves them. Plus, she was living here alone. We muscled in on her space in many ways. She's used to watching what she wants to watch. What is she supposed to do? Sit in her tiny, tiny room from dinner until she goes to bed while she hears the Olympics on in the other room? Often, she goes out with friends at night which is what she was probably going to do tonight.

Then again, we're paying an exorbinant rent to be here. We're paying her salary. Shouldn't I get free reign of my apartment? Why am I relegated to my bedroom to work on my blog when she's in the other room watching a movie I don't want to see? 

So that's the rub - and the very reason a few friends of mine here don't have helpers. It's very hard to draw a line between being kind and being the boss. 

There are other reasons why women don't want helpers here. Some feel replaced and that the helper is better at their "jobs" of being a wife and mother than they are. Filipinos are very blunt, but one woman's helper was too blunt, criticizing her "mum's" weight and mothering ability. Another gal told me she felt lost without doing chores especially since she can't work here because of the visa situation. One woman's helper stole though I think that's pretty rare. If a helper is fired, she has go to her home country and can never, ever come back to Singapore.

I've also been worrying a bit that my kids will grow so pampered that they'll never know how to do their own chores. It's important to know how to do things for yourself - to WANT to do things for yourself. Plus, I'm trying to teach Maisie the value of money just now. She gets coins for doing chores, but it's hard to find chores that Cheryl isn't doing! And if I'm not doing any chores, what kind of example does that set for my children?

Now I'm left in the awkward position of telling Cheryl that while I appreciated her being here so I could run to the store, I don't really like it when her friend is here. And me being me, I want to be nice and to be her friend and for her to like me. Ay yi yi. I really do adore her. Oh man - I'm not good at this boss lady thing.

Maybe this live-in helper thing isn't all that it's cracked up to be? Then again, there are very, very few helpers that live in their own homes. Babysitters are pretty much nonexistent. So then what? We'd live in this great city and stay home every night? Heather has managed to find a babysitter and no helper. I'm sure I could do the same if that's what we decided. I mean, I've been helperless in the U.S. all my life! I have two toddlers and I get the occasional babysitter during the day so I can go to the doctor and such. I've been fine all by my lonesome these past four years with kids. 

I've got lots to mull if we move here for good. Hmmm...

Yikes. Her friend just left after being here for 1.5 hours. Do you hear the musical cue? The sounds of dread? What to say? What to say?

PS. I didn't say anything. It was one time. No biggie. It's just that it got my mind whirling, but in the end, I adore Cheryl and she is dear to us all. If it becomes a habit, I'll talk to her. 

Wednesday
Aug082012

Back in the US of A

Hi. It's me DIgby, the fifth member of Team Hiemstra. I'm holding down the fort back in the US.


Yup, while my family is globe trotting all over Asia, I'm hanging out in upstate New York on my Opa's farm. Am I upset about it? Not in the least! I'm having a ball. Not only are Oma and Opa fun, but they have a dog named Willem. He's my boyfriend.

Every day, Willem and I take long walks and go swimming. I swim faster than Willem, but he cheats by running along the edge of the pool and jumping in so he always gets the ball. Darn that silly rascal! That's okay. When we're on land, I run faster so I get the ball. Willem gets frustrated because I won't give it back to Opa to throw it again. Hey - I ran for it, I get to keep it - that's what I say. At night, Oma gives me lots of treats. After dinner, I hang by Opa and gets lots of pats. Yup, life is good here on the farm.


Sometimes Oma's granddog Miles comes to visit, too. We bicker over Willem at first, but always work it out. I kind of like being the only girl. Heh heh. 


My family Skypes with Oma and Opa and always wants to see me, but I'm not too interested. Hey - I'm a dog. I can't really see the screen. Maisie and Hudson (and Mommy, too) really miss me so that's nice to hear. In fact, I hear Maisie was crying yesterday saying, "I miss my dog." I miss them, too. I won't see them for weeks yet. Maisie and Hudson want to pet every dog they see in Singapore - and there are lots of them. Half the time, Maisie tells their owners about me.
Mommy says they went back to Polliwogs today with her friend Heather and another lady named Connie and their kids so nothing new going on over there. Mommy will be back tomorrow talking all about Singapore's National Day.Connie invited them to a party at her apartment on the 50th floor overlooking the harbor where the fireworks will be!
And oh - Daddy is just fine in Shanghai as that city didn't take a direct hit from the typhoon. There's just been a lot of rain all day. As of now, his flight tomorrow is still listed on time, but it's still 50/50 as to whether or not he'll make it home in time for the fireworks!
Tuesday
Aug072012

Expat Living

I'll admit it. At first, I was jealous. In all the years that I was a network correspondent, I never got to ride out a hurricane, only cover the aftermath of storms like Katrina, Charlie and Floyd. Tom is in Shanghai tonight, scheduled to return Thursday morning. There's a typhoon hitting there tomorrow. It's not a big typhoon - from what I can tell - but a typhoon just the same. Their measurements are different from ours, but it looks like it'll be a Category 1. No biggie, right?
Then I started really thinking about it. Hurricane Irene hit the East Coast last year. I was there for thatand rode it out at home with Tom and our friends the Goldbergs. By the time it hit Chappaqua, it was only a tropical storm and we still lost power for five days - and we were in the US! What in the world will happen in China? They've already been dealing with (and badly dealing at that) flooding in Beijing.
So I've gone from envy to pure worry. Tom will be fine. He knows how to take care of himself, but still... Tom doesn't seem worried in the least and in typical Tom fashion, he's out to dinner with clients as the storm is hitting.
Our day here was pretty much the opposite of a storm - surprisingly so as Maisie got up at 1 with a nightmare and got very little sleep. I finally put her back in her own bed at 5 and Hudson woke up at 6:20. Lucky me. So much for staying up to watch the Olympics! They finally had something on at a normal time last night that intereested me: diving. I expected a day of meltdowns, but there were very few. Want to know something funny? Cheryl didn't know there was a winter olympics? Why would she? They have no winter sports here!
We took a taxi to the Tanglin Mall - known as the expat mall - where we grabbed grub at the food court and I had my first Indian food since I've arrived. Yum! Then, we walked around a bit hoping Hudson would fall asleep in the stroller - and he did! Cheryl hung with the kids while I shoe shopped - a short-lived experience. 
Did I tell you the news about my feet? They've grown! I already had size 11 and was teased my entire childhood about them. I suspected things had changed after I had babies. When the 20-year-old, pimply shoes salesman at the Westchester Mall gave the news that my feet were now measuring a size 12, I burst into tears. Poor guy didn't know what to do. Size 12's are pretty much impossible to find in the US. Thank God for Zappos. Here? Well, Asians don't have big feet. I will never, ever be able to buy a single pair of shoes in Asia. I find myself wishing my mom bound my feet when I was a baby.
I wonder if Asians still think small feet are beautiful. Eegads..
I had planned to look at clothes with Cheryl there to watch the kids. I didn't try on a single thing. I dunno. I think Cheryl's too good of a cook and I felt icky - and tired from the wakeful child marathon. So with nary a shopping bag in hand, we took a cab to meet Lisa and her 4-year-old son Grady and 2-year-old son Seamus.
How do I know Lisa? Well - this is complicated: stick with me. My best friend growing up was a girl named Cathy. Cathy had a little sister name Christie who saw my post on Facebook that mentioned I was moving here. Turns out, one of her best friends lives here - a woman named Barbara. Barbara said, "Oh I have a friend who has kids your age" and put me in touch with Lisa. Ta da! She moved here from Brooklyn two years ago and is absolutely lovely. She'd have to be to invite a total stranger over for a swim date.
Lisa lives in an area called Tanglin which is known for its expat community. It's not far from the other end of the big shoppig street called Orchard. There are lots of different living arrangements there: landed houses (individual homes with property), semi-detached homes, apartments, the works.
Lisa lives in a 3-bedroom apartment building and has it furnished with all sorts of things I really like. She says she gets a lot of it at a place called Galanga Living. I have to go! Her complex is far bigger and older than the one where we're living. The pool is a traditional rectangle where the kids had a ball all afternoon. The community also has a playground.
We all had a ball and it was a good way for me to start checking out new locations. Lots to decide!