Balance

Day three of Maisie's good mood. I'm feeling very blessed.

Now I can turn my mind to more important things like wondering what my weight is doing. 

The food here is pretty damn fantastic. I mean - YUMMY! I try to mostly eat Asian so that means noodles and rice. I have no idea how to count the calories because I don't even recognize half the ingredients. 

On the other hand, I walk ALL day and swim most afternoons - though not lap-swimming - just chase the kids around the pool swimming. Also, don't you think maybe combatting the heat is using energy some how? Surely... 

Of course, heat always makes you feel fat. My brother says, "Every day is a hot day if you're fat." Well, here every day is hot even if you're Karen Carpenter-thin.

Yup, the heat is still here - worse than ever. I'm seriously considering buying gel pads for my bra. You know the ones? Nursing moms wear them inside their bras when they're trying to give up breastfeeding? I've decided maybe that's the best way to combat the heat, is to chill my boobs. I wonder if I could patent that idea and sell it to Victoria's Secret. There are lots of hot places on the planet and people without cars. Wheels are a turning...

These past two weeks have just about cured me of wanting to live smack dab in the middle of NYC with two toddlers, something I'd always longed to do. Man, city living is far harder than living as a childless couple. Everything is a challenge when you have a stroller attached to your hip. AArgh.

The kids and I went to Killiney Curry Puff around the corner. I had some sort of noodle dish, but the kids had a chicken puff which is like a chicken pot pie in a moon-shaped pie form. Yum! Then, I decided to visit Tom's office with the kids since Maisie was in such a good mood. For Tom, he walks a few minutes (more like gimps since his OTHER achilles is sore! Terror!), rides the subway three stops, gets out and walks two mnutes to his building. 

With a stroller? Lordy... FINDING the lift was a challenge. Then negotiating the whole lunch-time crowd with a stroller was a royal pain. Let's face it: working areas of town are never really child-friendly. They're not meant for children. 

It's been a long time since I've been in a high-rise office and I felt like a shabby mommy instead of the high-powered worker I once was. Sniff sniff. Tom works in Ocean Financial Center not far from the Raffles Hotel. His office is on the 40th floor. He works in a tiny, windowless box. Too bad because the building is across from the bay and WOULD have an amazing view of the Marina Bay Sands hotel  and the science center.

 

Worn out, we grabbed a cab home when I finally figured out where to get one. He totally misunderstood me and took me FAR from home so for free, he took me home. Oh well, I got to see more of the island. Yesterday? My cab driver on the way home broke down. He hopped out and flagged down another one right away. Folks are always nice here - even in bad circumstances. Have I mentioned there are guides in the subways? Nice people in uniform to help you figure it out!? HOLY COW!

Like most days, we wrapped up with a swim. Both kids are swimming with a float belt around their waist and want no help at all. Amazing! There are only a couple of kids at the pool because everybody is away for the school break - like really away - US, Australia, Europe - for a month or two. Oh well, there will still be swimming in the Fall since the weather is about the same.

Oh - want to know what cracks me up? There is some "Fall Repair" shampoo in the stores. Fall? What the heck? It's ALWAYS summer here if you ask me. Maybe that explains why some people are in Fall-ish clothes! And babies are bundled up. Ay yi yi. Just thinking about it makes me sweat even more.

So This is What it Mean to be a Resident

There is a God. Maisie was in a good mood for a SECOND day in a row! That means I was also in a good mood! Wahoo!

Part of being a mommy is doing the same thing over and over. I'm kind of getting that down here in Singapore, too.

This morning, we took a cab to my new friend, Joy's apartment. I'm not quite sure where she lives, but west of us and not as centrally located as our apartment. I think there are more ex-pats in her area. As a reminder, Joy has an almost-three-year-old son Andrew and a 5-month-old daughter Alexis. Hudson was in hog heaven playing with all the boy toys. I think even Maisie was just happy to see other kids and enjoyed the cars and trucks, too. Joy is from San Angelo, another West Texas town about two hours from my hometown of Midland. Joy's an Aggie, too - though class of 2000. Ha! She's such a Texan - a full-spread of food for the three of us! Yum!

She schedules the weekly playdates of the AWA women with kids this age. All the others are on their holidays, taking advantage of kids being out of school so it was just the two of us which was really nice. I learn so much from other moms - like Joy brings HUGE toys from the US in her suitcase in parts since toys here are so expensive. Incredible. She also uses cloth diapers because diapers are so pricey. Of course, she laughs and says her helper has to do the laundry! 

They have a four bedroom apartment, one for each kid, a master and a playroom. Her husband's company insists that they keep their US home, leave it furnished, but not rent it out and rent furniture here. 

I'd planned to take the kids swimming this afternoon, but they were cutting the lawn and spraying for bugs - something they do twice a month. Instead, we went to the post office to mail presents to two of Maisie's friends. Oh my God - it was MOBBED by a traveling group of kids from I THINK China. Nobody spoke English so I couldn't actually confirm that. They were all smiling at Hudson and I thought, "Oh here we go again - the blond thing," but actually, they were watching him play with the iPhone! Kids and electronics... 

Then we did some errands like getting a battery for my watch. We had to go to Lucky Plaza which is where the Filippinos hang out. Other errands were in various stores along Orchard. I just noticed this TINY McDonald's on the street that sells only ice cream and drinks. What a hoot! 

The thing about shopping on Orchard - Singapore's much greener and prettier version of NY's Fifth Avenue - is that going in and out of stores can entail a few stairs which aren't much fun with a double-stroller. Finding the lift - as elevators are called - is often an impossible task. All this while dearling with incredible heat. I'm exhausted!

We ended the day at the little, crappy indoor playground at a nearby mall and the kids ate a ham and cheese sandwich with relish.

Tom is working some really long hours. Sometimes he comes home for dinner and then goes back to the office. Tonight, he got home at 10:30 after an incredibly bad day at work. Let's just say the Chinese aren't to be trusted. If they keep this up, we're coming home! 

Lucky for me, Cheryl hangs with me at night and we watch TV. In truth, she lives in this apartment by herself except for when guests are here. Usually, guests are here for a couple of days so we're really muscling in on her TV time and space. That's the way it's supposed to be, but it still must be a big change for her. Who knows? Maybe she really likes having somebody to eat with at night, too. :-)

Do Over!

Do you hear the angels singing? Listen closely. It's the Hallelujah chorus.

It seems what they say is true. It's always darkest before the light. Yesterday, I was ready to quit motherhood and apply for a job at Starbucks. By the way, there's one around the corner as well as a Long John Silver's, McDonald's, 7-11, Coldstone Creamery and more.

Today, Maisie held it together and didn't have one, single tantrum. Not one. I guess the rest yesterday was a good thing or maybe she's just getting used to life here, but my light-hearted, joyful, funny, beautiful, little girl was back in full form.

Sunny mood and sunny weather in place, we headed to the Botanic Garden for a do over. This time we took a cab which took all of ten minutes as opposed to the 45 minute long trek on the subway like last time. 

We started with the National Orchid Garden. My step-mother-in-law has a bunch of orchids and I've killed a few myself so I know how tempermental they can be. I have an incredible respect for orchids so seeing all them blooming here was just mind-blowing. I mean, there is pathy after path of orchids mixed in with other gorgeous plants. Fan palms had fans bigger than my out-stretched arms which is saying something because I'm the missing link. There were lily pads that must've been three feet in diameter. They have a cold room with very special orchids, too. It's just incredible. There is also a ginger garden in the park. 

When we were here the first time and caught in the downpour, we found a food court with nothing but Asian food - and Asian people. This time, we saw a several other options including a restaurant that looked like it might even be a 5-star place. We chose the kiddie court outside of the Children's Garden. The kids were thrilled with their hot dogs - hot dogs that rivaled a foot-long in size. The only thing is hot dogs are made out of chicken here. Maisie ate hers like corn on the cob which was a bit disgusting.

Then we headed into the Jacob Ballas Children's Garden which is designed to get kids interested in gardening. My kids? They headed right to the water play area which was pretty boring compared to all the ones we've seen lately. In fact, as we left the water area, Maisie said, "I want to go to the splash ground now." Doh. 

The rest of the garden was fine - not as special as I'd expected. There were a couple of cool plants to see - like touch-me-nots begging to be touched. Maisie liked the table and chairs made out of tree stumps and we pretended to have wedding cake with candles. Hudson was partial to the tree house though he gave me heart attacks doing his typical not-for-a-two-year-old stuff. The maze with 3-foot plants was also a hit though Hudson squished himself through the gaps in the plants when he got stuck. Cheater!

I'm so glad we came back. Our experience in the rain the first day wasn't so good. The garden is huge - like Central Park huge, I think. So it was a little like three blind men grabbing different parts of an elephant. If we hadn't come back, I'd have had a less favorable impression of the park. Now? It's a must-see experience!

 

Questions Answered

We started our day like we start many days: Skyping with family and friends. I often think how different it'd be to move overseas without the Internet. My aunt, uncle and cousins lived in Asia 50+ years ago and my friend Yasmin lived in Hong Kong 15 years ago. It's far easier moving to the other side of the globe when you can keep in touch easily. Of course, I don't always hear the "phone" ringing. We have AC, but each room has it's own unit which is kind of loud. It's not a window unit, but it's a unit, just the same.

This time, we were on the phone with Tom's dad, stepmother and our dog, Digby. My friend Jodi wanted to know where Digby is. She's spending the first two months with them on their farm in upstate New York. Then she'll go hang with some good friends near us in Chappaqua who have three kids and a massive house. There Golden recently died so they are very excited about Digby coming to stay. We did a test run and they just adored her. She'll never want to come home!

I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss that crazy ball of fur. At first, Hudson walked around saying, 'Where's Digby?" Maisie talks about her all day long. Today, she said, "I'm very sad about Digby," so seeing her on Skype once in a while has been really helpful for us all. I'm not sure Digby sees us, but she's having a ball so she's fine. In the meantime, we have to pet all the dogs in the complex to get our puppy fix.

This has not been an easy change for Maisie. Heck, going from circle time to snack time at school wasn't easy. Transitions are incredibly hard for children with sensory integration disorder. I've tried very hard to get her into some sort of schedule in the mornings and afternoons, filling the middle of the days with things that I think will be good for her like water play and kids-oriented museums. I simply haven't found the right mix just yet. She waivers between massive meltdowns and inability to settle down, a hyperactivity most kids only get after downing ten or more sodas. Add to that the almost-four behaviour of back-talk and newfound independence and I'm ready to pull a Mrs. Kramer versus Kramer and head to California.

I think she likes it here - we all do - but the tourist part of our life has probably been overstimulating for her. The only time I can manage her is when she's watching TV or playing with an electronic toy - or so it often feels. 

I think if we lived here, things might be different as she'd have a routine - school, therapists, activities and hte like, but for now, life is a crap shoot. I wake up every morning with a pit in my stomach terrified of yet another nightmarish day with Maisie. Her tantrums aren't like other kids. They can last for hours. Hudson just stares at her. Last week, she drew a self-portrait of her crying and one of me smiling. It absolutely broke my heart.

I often wonder what Cheryl thinks. I've explained Maisie's Sensory Processing Disorder, but I'm not sure she quite gets it as English is her second language. She RARELY offers advice though I'm sure she has plenty. I know she absolutely loves Typhaine, Fred and their baby Emmeline. She obviously misses them with all her heart. She teared up when I showed her a picture I had Typhaine email me of the baby.

All to say that today, I decided to have a low-key day. That's hard for me because I'm the kind of traveler who wants to leave by 7 and get home at midnight, taking in as much as I can. Obviously, I haven't been doing that with the kids, but not doing anything touristy at all today was pretty hard for me. Of course, if we live here, that will be the norm so this was a good test day of sorts.

We did a lot of crafts this morning. I took the kids out to the pool area where Hudson got to play ball and they both stalked the turtles and koi in the "river" near the pool. That's how life would be here. If we moved to Singapore permanently, we'd have to find a place with more outdoor space or a playground in the complex. My kids are wildly energetic. They need outdoor space as do I. We simply can't afford to go to an indoor playground each and every day. Of course, we'd also have all our toys which would make entertaining them inside a lot easier. The neighbor downstairs has complained about the noise. I'm guessing we'd need a "landed" home here - which means a house with a yard. Tiny kids and apartment complexes don't necessarily mix.

Eventually, we all ventured out for lunch. Maisie chose the restaurant, a Vietnamese joint around the corner from us. Have I mentioned there is a ROW of restaurants near us with every kind of Asian food you can imagine with a 7-11 smack dab in the middle of the street? 7-11s are everywhere. Anyway, Maisie wanted Vietnamese and she actually ate a ton of different things there. Yea! We were with Cheryl. I hate it when my kids waste food, but all the more when Cheryl is with us. She breast fed her kids til they were four because she didn't have money for food.

The most wassteful thing we've done was getting mani/pedis today. I felt like Maisie and I needed a little mother/daughter time and though I do crafts with her or read to her, it's hard to have time for just us two in an apartment so off to the mall we went.

Orchard Central is one of the biggest malls in town. I think there are 12 floors, maybe more. It has a giant rock-climbing wall and a big roof garden. Turns out, mani/pedis here aren't as nice as ones at home and pricey as all get out - 1/5 of Cheryl's monthly salary! ! I'll need to look around or visit the building with the four floors of whores. I didn't think that was really the place to take Maisie. If all pedicures are that expensive, it'll be the last time Maisie gets her naisl done!

Since I didn't do anything all that special today, let me answer some of your questions. My cousin George wants to know about traffic here. Believe it or not, there's very little, all things considered. That's because there is a HUGE tax on cars here. Get ready to bend over and grab your ankles: a Honda Accord can cost about $180,000! Seriously. Unbelievably, Singaporeans drive really nice cars. The streets are filled with sports cars and luxury SUVs. I have no idea where folks get the money. Taxis are mostly blue and really cheap. People drive on the "wrong" side of the street and the driver sits on the right. The local tire shop is around the corner and the work is done on cars while they are parked on the street. Oh - and get this - there are signs all over the city that show how many spaces are available in the five closest parking lots at that very minute!

My cousin Kelli asked me how Tom can get to work without getting drenched in sweat. He can't. He takes an extra shirt with him! Amazingly, nobody smells like BO here. Speaking of shirts, he already got five made for himself. I've got to get shopping! Here I am in the middle of the shopping meccas of meccas and I haven't bought a single thing! I need my friend Nickie to come visit - or my brother's girlfriend Virginia. Those gals know how to shop!

Things are very expensive here, but like anywhere, you have to know where to look. Tom bought a slice of pizza for $8.50, but found a slice across the street from that same place for $4.00.  It's still not NY's $2, but it's closer. My Haagen Dazs cost me - are you ready for this - $12! Oh well - I don't need to eat it anyway. Good restaurants have plastic demo food in the window to show you what you're getting when you order. It cracks me up.

The money is gorgeous and the watermarks are see-thru. The exchange rate is $1 Sg to $.79 US.

Everybody wants to know, "How hot is it?" Imagine walking into a sauna and staying there all day. Right before we left, I talked my friend Tia into taking the kids to Sesame Place with me during the heat wave. The real temperature was 105 and everybody thought we were crazy. That's a normal day here. Today will be 90 with a humidity of 74%. The real feel temperature is 109. However, every single space inside is over-airconditioned so if you get too hot, you just dip inside a building to cool off. Singapore is very close to the equator and is a rain forest. We do have rain, but only one day so far has been nothing but rain. Typically, when it rains, there's a tropical downpour and then it gets sunny again or at least that's our experience so far. Rain is more challenging when you are pushing a stroller so I wear a slicker which isn't much fun in this heat! We are all doused in sunblock from the minute we climb out of bed and I'm still incredibly tan. Tom forgot to put some on his back when we went to Sentosa and he looks like a lobster! I arrived with medicine from my dermatologist in tow to keep me from breaking out in the humidity. Ha! It doesn't work.

We've spent most of our time in the Central District, near Orchard tho we have obviously ventured out to areas north (the zoo), south (Sentosa) and outlying burbs (Chinatown and the Science Center area). I haven't yet visited the areas where we might want to live.  

Cheryl and I have now figured out what we need to take for our outings and we pack the stroller to the hilt: sippy cups, bathing suits, socks for all, a clean shirt for Hudson to wear after lunch (he makes a mess with noddles!), diapers, wipes, a map, sunglasses for all, my wallet and camera. The most important things are their phones. Each kid has one of our old cell phones loaded with games. We use them to keep the kids quiet on the subway. Kids here sit very nicely on subways, at restaurants and the like and never, ever seem to whine. I read that's because Asians - particularly the Chinese - are incredibly strict and use corporal punishment. Their kids don't dare misbehave so when minr do, we get all sorts of looks. I'm not into whacking my kids.  I use time outs and take away priviledges and, lately, I yell a lot all to no avail. So I guess the phones will just have to be a must for now.

Thank you all for your emails. I'm sorry I haven't answered all of them. I try to keep this blog to keep folks up-to-date. I REALLY love hearing what YOU'RE up to back at home so please keep them coming and I'll try to answer when I can. 

Love to everybody!

 

A Taste of Things to Come?

New York has a Chinatown. It's cool to hang there for a couple of hours and grab dinner at a hole in the wall restaurant like Wo Hop, my favorite - then walk across the street to LIttle Italy for dessert. Well folks, our China town's got nothing on Singapore's version. I mean - nothing.

I'm guessing Singapore's Chinatown is probably a lot like the real thing. The streets are incredibly narrow and you can buy just about any kind of crappy trinket you want. We struggled through with our stroller barely making it's way down the street. Maisie whined and whined until I told her she could buy a toy. Dear God. Maisie buying a toy is like my husband buying sunglasses: it takes forever! She looked and searched and fondled every single toy in the market until she finally found a 3-D puzzle. You start with one layer of stickers and add others on top of it to match the pictures. She's good at that sort of thing.

There are different parts to Chinatown besides the narrow streets. We also went into a lovely department store where besides clothes, they also sold all sorts of things used in Chinese medicine. We're talking odd things like flattened mice (I think that's what they were!) and horns of various animals. Maisie was fascinated.

The subway station in Chinatown is different from the others I've seen and it was the least stroller-friendly of all the stations. Immediately outside? The smell of durian wafted by. Ugh. Durian stinks. It's a fruit that I can't even begin to taste becasue the smell is so bad. There are signs all over the subways - no durian allowed! Ha! Tom got some durian ice cream by accident yesterday and it was disgusting. I couldn't even stand within three feet of it because of the smell. Seriously! I tasted it and it wasn't bad, but man - that smell is terrible! Funny because many areas smell like jasmine - far more desirable!

I'm glad we went, but it wasn't really all that enjoyable. It made me more than a bit nervous about our upcoming two-week trip to China. Toddlers, narrow streets and weird food may not be such a good mix though it'll be Fall in China so that will help.

One of the absolute best parts about living here is that we can travel to all sorts of cool places. All of Asia is within reach. Heck, we can even travel to Australia fairly easily. There are budget airlines like Southwest that make country-hopping pretty easy.

So we spent the morning with a travel agent planning our first escape this - heading to Bintan, an Indonesian island reachable by high speed ferry. More about that next weekend!