A Possible Plan

 

At almost every expat thing I attend, the conversation inevitably goes the same: where are you from, how long have you been here, how long are you staying, where does your husband work, where do you live and... did you bring your stuff. The advice is ultimately the same: bring your own things. Singapore will feel more like home if you surround yourself with your own stuff. 

After more than two months of living in Typhaine's apartment, I'm starting to really crave my own things. It's not like we have anything all that nice, but hey - it's ours. Whether it's sleeping in our own bed or sitting our own couch, I just really miss my furniture and silly things like cupcake pans. I'm glad we've had these three months because I know that for me (and apparently Tom, too) we need to bring our own things.

Still, there is a definite need for inexpensive, good-looking furnishings for many expats who brought just a few things or nothing at all. Apparently for many years, that was a huge problem. The only furniture here was really expensive just as is everything else in Singapore. Now? Well, there's something called Expat Auctions where repatriating expats sell off their stuff. There's also Taylor B's, a store launched by American women just four years ago which now takes up two giant warehouses. Those gals are brilliant - and no doubt loaded now!

I've been hankering to check out Taylor B's for weeks now. Luckily today, the AWA had it's monthly meeting/coffee at Taylor B's. Holy cow - there is a ridiculous amount of furniture, lamps, art, pillows and the like in that place. The gals shop all over Asia and bring stuff back here to their warehouse right on the docks. I've heard from several people that the quality is pretty bad and I got that feeling myself when I was walking around. Yes, there were some really great pieces that would last a lifetime, but I'm guessing about half of the stuff that's there is something that would last just long enough to get you through an assignment here. There were several items that I've seen at Restoration Hardware (we even own some of the chairs) which are definitely nice stuff. Lots of it is reproduction, but some seemed to be the real deal. Quality or not, it was fun to visit with my friend Carrie and all the other women I've met. If we stayed, i'm sure I could find a few things to buy :-)

I actually teared up at the meeting. Over some great deal? Because I found the perfect piece? Uh no. Rather a few weeks ago I met this nice woman named Paula, a retired teacher from Texas. I asked her some stuff about Maisie. Since then, she met a woman who specializes in helping families with kids who have issues find schools here in Singapore. She remembered our conversation and got the woman's card. She's been carrying it around ever since, just in case she bumped into me again. How kind! These past few days I've been feeling at the end of my rope about the school stuff and Maisie's behavior - and then this lovely woman comes out of the blue with a resource for me. It's always darkest before the light, right? People here are really nice. She's also a Texan.

Because I was at the coffee, Hudson had his longest day at school yet. While his classes end at 11:30, we've arranged for him to stay until Maisie leaves at 12:30, but we're slowly getting him there. Today, he was there til 12:15 with nary an issue. Maisie had a rougher day. In fact, she's had two really bad days at school.

I had a long talk with the principal today whom I quite like. She has a lot of experience with autistic children. She has come up with some brilliant strategies for dealing with Maisie, including assigning an intern to watch out just for Maisie, somewhat like Chappaqua's SEIT program - though SEITs in the US are trained therapists. I was up front with the principal about my concerns for Maisie and the schools here.

Denise is pretty blunt as many Chinese are. I actually like that. She said that she feels quite certain that Maisie has a very strong chance for being "normal." In the US, we say she has a clear indication that she'll test out of services. Every single person seems to agree on that which is wonderful news for us all. 

In the meantime, she needs help. Everybody also agrees on that. Not only does she needs help with therapy, but she is also having a hard time socially. While she's incredibly friendly, her outbursts frighten the other kids and make them less likely to approach her. She can also stalk kids here at the pool, desperate for their friendship which makes them want to run away. It's like watching a girl throw herself at a boy in high school.

So the principal thinks she needs to take a social skills class, a suggestion I've been given before since moving here. They don't have social skills classes in the US to my knowledge though her SEIT in class is supposed to help her with this. Turns out, not only are her tantrums sensory-based, but there are many that are also behaviorally based. Simply, she's testing us. I was already aware of this. It's often hard to tell the difference. Neither is fun.

Otherwise, she recommends Maisie staying at WeeCare, a smaller school with the expertise she needs. She'd be there for two years with the goal to get her ready for the international schools in August 2014. By then, she should be able to apply as an average kid without any concerns - therefore getting in as opposed to probably not getting in now and having a flag raised on her future applications.

It seems to be a good school. Outside of my own impressions, another mother there told me her older child was far ahead of the Eton House kids when she transitioned to The Singapore American School. Most of the kids are Chinese and Chinese moms have incredibly high expectations. That also bodes well. So if nothing else, we have a good back up if not the plan itself - IF we move here. The jury is still very much out on that one.

This afternoon, we met Carrie and her daughter Hannah at Royce's. The girls played really well together (and so did the mommies. I really like Carrie), but when it was time to leave, Maisie had her biggest public tantrum maybe ever. She bit me, pulled my hair, kicked my groin - I mean it was quite a scene. Hudson reacted to her fit and started to cry, too. The workers at Royce's had to help me get them out the door. These public meltdowns are always so depressing - and a bit embarrassing, too. Transitioning seems to be getting harder as of late no matter how many of the "tricks" I apply.

Within minutes, she was back to her pleasant self. It's like a switch goes off and on. We then wandered down the river so the kids could look at all the lantern floats. They were a big hit! Both of them were yelling, "It's a rabbit! It's a horse!"

But again, on the way home, Maisie had another giant tantrum, this one because Hudson was sitting in my lap in the taxi. That tantrum? 45 minutes. Then she turned into a wiggle worm.

Bedtime couldn't come fast enough. I'm in need of a bottle of wine.