Entries by Melinda Murphy Hiemstra (112)

Saturday
Aug252012

The Next Tiger Woods?

Hudson loves golf. I mean the kid is more obsessed than his Daddy which is saying something, trust me. If he finds something sort of round and something that kind of resembles a club, he'll do his best to whack one with the other. He reads golf magazines. He even watches the slow-as-molasses sport on TV. 

As it turns out, Asians are even more golf crazy than folks in the US. Naturally, they want their young un's to learn as early as possible. So when I heard there was something called Kindergolf here, well... I just had to give it a try!

Kindergolf is as the name suggests - a place for little kids to learn golf. They can start as young as 18 months. Eventually, they have junior tournaments. The classes are in a small room in a mall, but as the kids get bigger, they would go to real golf courses in the area. 

We signed up both kids for an introductory, 45-minute lesson. Maisie wasn't even slightly interested, but Hudson loved each and every second of it. By the end of his time there, he even was correcting his grip all by himself! Making contact with the ball has been something Hudson could naturally do since he was about 14 months, but lessons are far more than teaching a kid not to whiff the ball. For starters, they teach safety first. Since they use real clubs (cutest things you've ever seen!), they stress things like "Don't whack your sister" and "No ball throwing in the house." I'm all for that.

So we're going to give it a try and see what happens. Move over Tiger. I'm planning on Hudson taking care of me in my old age with his winnings and sponsorships. 

I did look at apartments yesterday - updates to come. Last night, we went out for dinner and today is Maisie's birthday so I'm behind!!! Happy birthday my sweet, sweet girl!! FOUR!

Friday
Aug242012

Growing up Fast!

WAHOOO!!!! This entry is really for the grandparents, but y'all are welcome to read my brag page. Ha!

Hudson pooped in the potty today!!! With the promise of a M&M, my barely-two-year-old boy pulled down his pull-up and did his business in the toilet. What a grin he made! I wish I had a picture! Of course, his best friend Spencer who is only a day younger has been pooping in the potty for months. Even so, Hudson is pretty young to be tackling this. What a long way we've come from his absolute terror he showed only a few weeks ago at the mere idea of sitting naked on the potty. He used to only attempt sitting with his clothes on!

He has grown up SO much! This morning he very clearly said, "Where's the food? I don't see it. I'm hungry." He's talking in whole paragraphs now! He understands everything we say. Amazing.

He watches Dora and repeats the Spanish words and correctly answers all the questions. He keeps up with his sister on so many levels.

He's getting his two-year-old molars so he's got his fingers in his mouth all day and has been waking up at night because he hurts, poor fella. Yesterday, he took a THREE hour nap (the usual is an hour tops).

Maisie, too, is speaking far better. I'd venture to say she wouldn't even need speech therapy if they tested her today. As it was, she was on the borderline of qualifying before we left. She is full of questions about how things work ... why, what, how. All of that is totally normal and on schedule - and a bit annoying! It's also quite fun because we can have an actual conversation about stuff.

She has an uncanny ability to recall where we were and her memory is a bit creepy. She saw a picture yesterday of our basement in Bronxville and then told me all about it. We moved from there when she wasn't yet three.

Her tantrums are far better though definitely still bad. I think they are perhaps less frequent and they don't last as long as they once did. She is also transitioning far better from one thing to another. When she's tired, she is definitely "off" and far more sensory. There is a definite correlation between her extreme sensory issues and sleep. Sadly, Hudson is tantruming, too. What fun! TWO TANTRUMING TODDLERS!

She is as musical as ever, dancing and making up songs all day long. Hudson sings with her and the two together are quite loud. Their repetoire is quite long these days! No wonder the neighbor hates us! She still does a lot of art and Hudson tries to color, as well.

We're taking them both to Kindergolf today. I'm pretty sure Hudson is the next Tiger Woods. There is a program here that evaluates kids as young as 18-months and - if there's a talent - they'll teach them golf. Hudson will be thrilled! He reads golf magazines and practices hitting things all day. If there's anything long and something round, he's whacking the two together. 

Tee hee! Tom is so excited that he's actually going to spend his lunch hour watching the 45-minute session!

Thursday
Aug232012

Room to Breathe

UPDATE: My Uncle Jim is doing better. I'm so happy to hear that as I've been literally sick with worry. Today, he'll have the wire to his pacemaker replaced, an easy procedure as Dana explained. The stroke effected his left side and it's his right hip that's in such bad shape so it's not going to be an easy road. He's swallowing and moving around better, but he'll still need rehab. The hip surgery will have to be postponed six months. The good news is that his cognitive skills seem to be in place.

 

I've been a bit blue this week. I really miss our dog. As much of a pain in the ass as Digby is, she's our dog. I miss her furry little head. I miss her playfulness. I miss her gobbling up all the food my toddlers drop. Maisie constantly talks about her. Even Hudson asks on occasion, "Where's Digby?" They both stop to see every dog they see and there are a lot here. It breaks my heart.

I expected to miss Digby, my family, my friends. I didn't expect to miss my stuff so much.

I read that Matt Lauer once said that a messy space makes him physically ill. I'm a little bit like that myself. Perhaps even more so, my surroundings really screw with my mood. If the lights aren't right or the colors are off or the art is crooked, I start to sweat. Well, maybe not sweat, but I definitely get uncomfortable. It's not like I'm a great decorator, but I like what I like. My surroundings really affect my mood.

Truth is, apples don't fall far from trees. I'm pretty sure if I was in school today, I'd test off the charts with sensory issues - even more so than Maisie. Heck, if the sheets aren't right, I've been known to remake the bed in the middle of the night. Tom sleeps right through it now. Is he a great guy or what?

I miss my pillowtop mattress, lamps instead of overhead lights, rugs. I even miss the kids' toys. It's not that I don't like where we're staying - it's lovely - but it's just not my home. It's hard to feel settled when we're as unsettled as they come. Connecticut is on the market. New York is half-packed up - either to move here or to move there when our lease is up in February.

We're getting closer to needing to make a decision about staying. Lots will go into this: Is it good for Tom's job? Can Maisie get the kind of therapy she needs? Can I make a life for myself here?

One equally big question is can we find a home that suits us? We have a LOT of stuff. Granted, we can and will put a lot in storage, but I want to bring my Christmas decorations, Maisie's this, Hudson's that. Can we even afford the kind of property we're hankering to have? Not to mention, there is a lot of great stuff here to buy!

Today, I saw two VERY nice apartments. The first was kind of by accident. A playgroup we've joined was to be held at a park in an area called Bukit Timah. This was my first trip to this neighborhood which is about 20 minutes northwest of our present place by taxi (or as Hudson says "tacky"). I liked it there and almost felt a sigh of relief. It's not that far from town. There's a shopping area, parks, trees and a subway station. 

 

Of course, who wouldn't like the apartment I saw! It was NICE! HUGE! The apartment is on the 9th floor with treetop views and the city skyline on the horizon. I only saw it because it started to pour so we punted and raced over to Colleen's apartment. Her daughter turned 2 in July so we had a little party for her. It's a bit odd to join a playgroup that's been ongoing. They all know each other's histories. Even so, they were super kind and inclusive, giving me the poop on schools, neighborhoods, the works.

This place was massive. Colleen and her husband actually bought the condo and redid it. The kitchen even has an island. There's an actual dining room. I mean - it is a massive apartment. It's older so the walls are thicker so there is no such thing as neighbors whining about loud kids. Amenities aren't as nice in the older buildings, but there's still a pool and the like. As in our current unit, the air con (as they call air conditioning here) is done by these units that are hung on the wall. Some are quite noisy, but theirs were quiet. The place is lovely - and probably can't afford it despite it being more distant from the central city area. Even if we could, I suspect we'd need a car if we lived in Bukit Timah which is pretty much impossible for us here as cars are SO expensive! 

Afterwards, my friend Penny let me and the kids stop by to see her place which is literally a 4 minute walk from us now. They JUST moved here so they aren't as settled as Colleen who has been here 7 years.

Penny lives on the 27th floor of a brand, spanking new highrise near Orchard. It'd be like living on Park Avenue in the 60s. It's also huge, but has a totally different layout and central air. The kitchen is quite small and is a part of the main living space. There is a square hallway that connects the four bedrooms. The hallway serves as the playroom. Each kid has a bedroom and there is a guest room. The master is large enough to also have an office area. The balcony wraps around the entire apartment. Hudson loved it - I was terrified for him :-) The views are outstanding! The best part? We got to meet their 9-month-old son, James :-)

There's also a fancy, dancy pool, gym, playground and the like. Wow!

Again, we can't afford this. Penny is here on an IBM expat package. Most folks we know have these massive packages that include a huge amount for rent, private school tuition and the like. We won't have that if we come. Sigh.

Stilll, it's nice to see the different areas and what money can buy here. Tomorrow, I head out with a realtor! 

Wednesday
Aug222012

Buckling Down

No more update on my uncle from my cousin. Fingers crossed no news is good news. I'll try to call her later.

Do you ever want to cry, but you have no idea why really? That's how I felt today. It was the weirdest thing. 

 

I spent the morning at the welcome back fair sponsored by the American Women's Association at The American Club. The AWA - started by the American Club - is about 1000 members strong. 

This was my first visit to The American Club, a sprawling country club in the middle of the city. The club has several restaurants, tennis courts, a pool, travel office and more. While there's no golf course, membership does get you reduced fees at courses in the area. Additionally, there are events out the wazoo for the members. It is kind of THE place to be if you're American and want to hang with Americans. It's also pricey as all get out to join so this may be my only visit to the actual club.

The AWA has dozens of committees and special interest groups. Today was all about introducing folks to the various opportunities. If you can think of it, the AWA has a group that does it: local tours, international trips, restaurant tours, mahjong, Bunco, cooking classes, writing support, volunteer opportunities, museum docent classes, photography, decorating classes - the list goes on and on and on. Every group had a table and  sign up sheet. If I do half of the stuff that interested me, I'll be busier than a one-armed-paper-hanger. Seriously. There were so many things I thought I'd like to try! 

I knew about a dozen women there already all thanks to the various playgroups in town. I met one woman today from Ft. Worth who has been here 12 weeks and met nobody. That's because her daughter is 19. Having kids is such a door opener. Yea!

Yup, if we move here, I'll have the busiest social life on the planet.

So why was I on the verge of tears all morning? Maybe it was because I felt relieved - a bit like "Yea, I can have a life outside of motherhood." Maybe it's because I was sad I don't have that much going on in Westchester. Maybe it was because I got panicked that we'll actually move here and my life will be silly social things and my career will be over forever - as if it's not in the US. 

Beats me. I had a lot of fun this morning chatting with everybody. I'm weird.

I signed up for two things on the spot. One is a class about how to decorate integrating Asian art into your current belongings. The other is a class called, "Finding the new you in Singapore." 

Afterwards, I wandered into Tang's, Singapore's version of Macy's. There I found my favorite mix of clothes yet - not too pricey, but cool and Asian. I didn't buy anything, but I'll keep it in mind!

While the morning was all about me, the afternoon was all about the kids. Cheryl took the to Royce's and McDonald's while I looked at two more preschools. I'm looking for now - and for January in case we come back all while I try to work out Maisie's after school activities back home. So complicated!

Preschools here are a constant topic of conversation. They are friggin' expensive and the key to getting into a private school as they get older. I feel like I live in Manhattan where kids have to be registered for private schools in the womb! It's wild and a bit terrifying. I've emailed several preschools. Many are already full or won't take a kid with Maisie's issues. The bigger, private schools? Forget it! I hear that the biggest private school actually wouldn't let the vice principal's special needs child into school! I'm praying Maisie will test out of therapy by next year and can then integrate into a regular school without anybody knowing she was in therapy.

The first school I saw today is called White Lodge which has several locations. The closest and most appropriate to us is a 15 minute cab ride. Cabs are cheap here, but still... it's not the easiest place to reach.  I spoke to the woman on the phone who neglected to tell me the 4s program is full! I was ticked. She had me schlep all the way there only to tell me there's no room for Maisie? It's part of a common racket as I see it. To get on waiting lists here, you have to plop down a hefty deposit. If you don't enroll when there's a space available, you forfeit you money. I think she wanted to hook me on the school and have me put money down for January  - just in case we return.

It was a very nice campus, I'll give it that. The classrooms are spread out over several buildings. There is a massive outdoor space which Hudson would LOVE. It also has a special needs program - or sort of does. There was one started, but not enough kids signed up, but now more kids are interested. Either way, the teachers have knowledge about sensory issues and that's key to me. 

The other place is called BibiNogs and is located about 7 minutes away on foot. I know two kids who used to go there. It's very clean and has room for both kids. That's about where the pluses end in my book. Like many preschools here, it's inside a mall with tiny, tiny rooms, no windows, no playgrounds. It'd be fine for a few weeks, but I'd never put them there for a long period of time. The education might be great, but the facility is just too small. 

The good news is that the school we saw Saturday - the one that I definitely like the best - emailed tonight to say the kids could enroll for the time we're here. Wahoo! It's a 15 minute cab ride from here, but I think it's a great place for them - and get this - they'll study Mandarin (as is the practice in most schools here). Now I can focus on looking at the private schools for January - if that's the route we go.

I'm watching History Channel's show about the 2012 prophecy. So if the end of the world is near, it doesn't really matter what school I find, does it? Hmmm.

 

Tuesday
Aug212012

Update

I spoke with my cousin last night and I feel much better. Uncle Jim is doing as well as can be expected. They caught the stroke in time so he qualified for a surgical procedure to treat the clot. He's regained much of the use of his arm and leg and seems to have all his cognitive skills, but he's still not out of the woods yet. He's had a seizure since the stroke and is absolutely exhausted and scared. The stroke affected his left side. The hip replacement was to be on the right hip so he's got a long road ahead of him. Surprisingly, he still wants the hip surgery, but obviously, that is on hold for now. Time will tell. 

Keep those prayers coming.