Entries by Melinda Murphy Hiemstra (112)

Tuesday
Aug282012

The biggest racket of all

Every day can't be a ten. Today rated probably a two. Yup - we had one of those days.

It started with Maisie crying because I got Hudson out of bed first. She was actually the cheerful one. Hudson is getting his two-year-old molars and was just out of sorts the whole darn day. Today may have been his hardest day in life yet! The most cheerful person on the planet had his first GIANT public meltdown. He screamed leaving a playground and continued to scream for the first 20 minutes of lunch. The whole thing lasted close to 45 minutes. Other mothers were shaking their head in knowing pity. One woman asked me if I needed help. Oh rah. Welcome to two, mama!

Maisie was crying at the same time about something totally different. She wanted a Barbie. Instead of buying one for her, we went in search of stuff to make a lemonade stand while Hudson napped in the stroller. If she wants a Barbie, she needs to earn it. The next sunny afternoon, we'll be out there hawking our concoction putting the earnings towards a new toy.

It poured all morning and much of the afternoon. It wasn't just raining cats and dogs. I'm pretty sure I saw an elephant or two fall from the sky. I am in Asia after all. What in the world is the rainy season like? How do you get your kids to school in rain like this? I'm going to need to take a cab to get the kids to school. Taxis are really cheap. You can either flag them down or, for a nominal fee, I can call one five minutes before I need it. Wahoo! The problem is they simply disappear when it rains. They don't even answer the phone when it rains. I'm serious when I saw I don't know what I'll do when it rains and the kids are supposed to be in school.

Speaking of schools, I spent my entire, rainy morning reaching out to admissions offices. The kids watched movies and did some art while I tried to schedule tours of various campuses. Maisie, by the way, is writing her name by herself. You go, girl! Hudson says, "I try. I try," and scratches around with the pen though he does consistently seem to make an H and is starting to recognize letters. Yup, he's a stud, that barely-two-year-old boy of mine!

Schools here are supposed to be the best in the world. I'm not sure what study declared that, but that's what everybody says. The admissions process is a real money-making racket if you ask me. There are a few really good ones: Singapore American School, One World College, Stamford American, Dover, Eton House where kids attend from pre-K through 12th grade. Some even give a IB degree. Each has a serious waiting list. Some waits are rumored to be three years long! Even the second tiered schools have wait lists.

Here's how it works: you apply and submit an application and non-refundable fee. Some of the fees are pretty steep, too. When they contact you that there's an opening, you have to pay within a week or else you lose your spot and your application fee. They seriously expect you to jerk your kids out of whatever school they're in all for the chance to go to one of the biggies. To do so, generally means losing money at the current school. It's insane!

Naturally, I want to SEE the schools before we shell out wait list money, but get this: One World College is so snooty that it won't even schedule an appointment because the wait list is so full. If you want to go there, you have to just get on the wait list and trust that you'll like it once you finally get to see it. Are you kidding me?! 

Complicating matters is Maisie's Sensory Integration Disorder. In the States, she is classified as a special needs kid and receives a whole host of therapies all free through the school district. Our district is very wealthy so she gets a lot of therapy that she might not get in a district with fewer funds. She's a borderline case at this point and will probably test out of all therapy by next year.

Here, her special needs could actually keep her out of the best schools. There's no such thing as discrimination or equal rights here. Our neighbor Dan teaches at One World College and said the Vice Principal had to leave the school because it wouldn't take his own special needs son!

So I'm in a tricky situation. I want to make sure she has the therapy she needs, BUT by the time she's at the end of the wait list, she very possible she won't need therapy any more. I think the solution is not to breathe a word to anybody about her disorder and hope that by the time she makes it into a top school, she'll be totally mainstream.

To that end, I also set up an appointment to have her evaluated here by the Singapore child development people. When Hudson got his Hep A vaccine here, I talked to the pediatrician about Masie and that's what she suggested. Who knows? Maybe here they won't see any deficiencies at all. She's being re-evaluated at home when we get back, too. Her speech seems to be on track. My only concern? Her sensory needs are still pretty intense, but they're definitely getting better. 

Fact finding - that's why I'm here. A giant consideration with this whole move is whether or not Maisie can get the education she needs here. I guess I'll know more in a few weeks.

 

 

Monday
Aug272012

Games!

When in Rome, do as the Romans. When in Singapore, play mahjong!

 

Mahjong is a Chinese domino-type game. I remember when I was in Hong Kong all those years ago visiting Yasmin, I could hear the sound of mahjong tiles being shuffled all over the city. Folks sat out on their balconies playing every evening. People play it all over the world in places like New York's Washington Square Park. Tom's family plays and I've always wanted to learn. I finally got my chance today.

The AWA (American Women's Association) has an ongoing game every Monday afternoon. Today, they had a teaching session so while Cheryl watched the kids, I took a lesson complete with lunch.

 

As an aside, I really couldn't do much of anything just for me without Cheryl. Heck, she cleans the house like a madwoman while I work on my blog and research schools, real estate and stuff to do - or better yet - play with my children. While I went to my little lesson, she took the kids to Royce's, the indoor playground filled with toys. Life is easier with a helper, that's true. i can have much more of a social life here than I ever could in Westchester.

Turns out, mahjong isn't something you learn in a day. Yes, I got the basics down today, but it reminds of something a guy once told me about Rock, Paper, Scissors. "To the beginner, the moves are few. To the master, the moves are many." The guy was a total nutcase I met covering the RPS World Championship in Canada. I loved him! Master Rochambeau was his name. Ha! What he said about RPS makes no sense, but it's exactly right when you talk about mahjong.

Mahjong is kind of a combination of dominoes, Yahtzee and every card game you've ever played. There are three suits: Bamboo, Characters and Circles. Additionally, there are 4 dragons, 4 winds. Each suit has nine numbered tiles, 4 of each number. After that, it's pretty much impossible to explain in writing. Just learning how to deal was a total blast. Seriously, this is one complicated game. There are HUNDREDS of different hands you can play. Heck, there are whole BOOKS about the various hands you can try to assemble. 

I won the first round and I was hooked! I could really get into playing once a week. It's social and a real brain game as opposed to Bunco which is a social, but mindless game good for drinking! I like it all the more because it's something to do from here. I like spending my time learning something more "native" that I might not be able to learn easily at home.

 

 

Monday
Aug272012

Flowers and Friends

I know I've been here for a while now because I'm starting to repeat things! OH NO! Actually, it was kind of depressing realizing that I've already done a lot of the things to do here. I've been quite busy making sure that we saw everything in case we don't come back. Then again, if we do come back, so much of the exploring will have already been accomplished. Of course, there's always more to see - even if we live here for 10 years. Still....

Tom isn't as lucky. He has to work during the week so he wanted to see The Gardens by the Bay. For more about this, use the search engine of my blog and search "GARDENS" and you can read all about our first trip there. This was his first time seeing the Super Trees up close and going inside the Flower Dome and the Cloud Forest. I think he was equally as impressed as I was. I mean, who wouldn't be? It's a very cool spot. 

Speaking of cool, the entire day was cool. We took a taxi to the Gardens. The Gardens are cold inside. It rained while we lunch which cooled everything off. We then walked around inside the Marina Bay Sands which is downright frigid - for Singapore. I'm afraid to say it: I didn't sweat the whole day! What a giant relief!

So here's what cracks me up about the shops at the Sands: they have WINTER clothes in the window. WINTER CLOTHES! Coats, boots - the works! I can't imagine how these shops stay open in the first place because everything is so darn expensive in them, but turning a profit showing WINTER clothes? I guess some folks need them to go home to the States or China or Australia, but it just seems a bit ridiculous. Somebody told me there's an actual boot season here. I can't wait to see gals tricked out in winter boots walking around in feel-like 105 temperatures! I won't be one of them, I guarantee you that!

I learned something else cool a couple of weeks ago: the ice skating rink in this mall is made out of synthetic ice! Apparently, there's a rink like this in Ridgefield, CT as well, but this is the first one I've ever seen. It's pretty cool. I keep thinking maybe I'll try to take the kids ice skating one day with Cheryl as she'd have a kick doing it, too. Well, I think she'd have fun. Hudson is so athletic, he might actually be able to do it though I worry a bit about the sharp blades. I doubt anybody here is all that good.

Last night, Heather and Mitch invited us over for a BBQ. We got to see their super nice, Exxon-funded apartment at the St. Regis residences. WOW! The main room is really wide open with a glass enclosure in the middle that most folks probably use as an office, but they use as their playroom. The kitchen is the slickest I've seen here yet. They have a tiny, back balcony with a grill set up - no view. It's really to access the helper's area, but they don't have a helper. It's very nice and has a super, duper location.

The kids had an absolute ball though Hudson wrote all over himself! He was literally green around the gills when we left! Ha! The food was great and the company even better. I feel so lucky that we've made such good friends since we got here. 

 

Sunday
Aug262012

A license to be nosey!

One of my favorite shows is Househunters International. I just love looking at what a buck buys you in all the different countries featured. Heck, Tom likes it, too. Truth is, we both love shopping for houses. Real estate is just so darn interesting. I not only like seeing the space, but how people live within the space. Hey - I'm a reporter, the nosiest person on the planet! 

I spent Friday hanging out with Wendy, a realtor who came highly recommended. Apparently, that's a very rare thing. Everybody I talk to seems to hate their realtor so fingers crossed Wendy is as good as folks say she is. Wendy is Chinese and has been a realtor here since 1994. She knows her stuff and specializes in ex-pat relocations. Her clients are primarily British and Australians.

Of course, nobody will ever replace my buddy Harriet, our realtor in Westchester. Harriet has the patience of a saint. She has shown us DOZENS of properties and just when we were about to pull the trigger, we moved here! On occasion, the kids would have to tag along and Maisie always insisted on wearing her princess dress. Harriett would carry around baby Hudson so I could wander about the various homes. We saw so much of Harriet at one point that Maisie told me Harriet was my best friend! Of course, we may move back to Westchester and buy a house so there's hope for Harriet yet. 

Just in case we do move here permanently (whatever that means) in January, I decided I'd better see what we can afford here in Singapore. Like New York, Singapore is an island and darn pricey. Orchard Road is Singapore's version of 5th Avenue. The closer you are to Orchard, the pricier the real estate. The older the building, the bigger the flat, but the fewer the amenities. There is a staggering array of choices. Sure, I'd prefer a huge apartment in a new, fancy building, but I don't think that'll be an option. If we come, we won't have an Exxon expat package.

I learned something very important: wear easy-to-slip-on-and-off shoes! In Asia, shoes are absolutely not worn in the house, including the apartment where we are now living! I totally spaced and wore these complicated, lace-up sandles. Doh! In fact, every apartment we saw had a shoe closet by the front door where the entire family stores shoes. Of course, Tom has more shoes than any woman I know so I'm not sure where the rest of us would put our footwear! We have one where we're living now, too, but we only brought a few pairs of shoes each. When I told Wendy and another realtor that Americans wear shoes in the house - and even in the bedroom - they both looked like they might faint. Seriously.

The listing agent for the apartment must be there to show every apartment which means you have not one, but two realtors with you at every showing.

Also, most apartments here really maximize storage, far more than NY apartments. Many architects are Japanese and they really understand how precious space is.

Another tip from Wendy is that you want an apartment on a higher floor, particularly in the older buildings. If you're above the treeline, you get more sunlight and a breeze. That's not just important for light, but to keep mildew at bay! 

RIVER PLACE

Wendy first took me to a brand new building called River Place near the Singapore River's Clarke Quay. The building has an amazing common area with a resort-like pool. There was even a splashground! Truly, I felt like I was on vacation as I wandered through the shared spaces such as the game & meeting rooms, rooftop tennis courts and gym. 

I saw two, very different apartments here. The first was 2350 square feet and was a 3+1. The +1 means that there is a room for the helper. That's not saying much. Many helpers sleep in toddler beds because that's all that will fit.

Anyway, the first apartment had a nice galley kitchen, a dining area, 2 small bedrooms downstairs and a VERY small living room. Upstairs, was a nice master bedroom with a large room (and separate bathroom) just outside the master. There was a deck complete with a hot tub outside that room. Very nice! If it wasn't for the small living room, I could make it work.

The second apartment here was on a lower floor and single story. It was 4+1 and laid out better, but not as nice, nor as large coming in at only 2067. Once again, the main living space was just too small. I think I could fit a couch and nothing else! 

 

 

CHANCERY GROVE

 

Next, we drove to what's called a landed house which was kind of far from everything. I'm not sure what neighborhood this was exactly. I just know that it's a 15 minute walk to the MRT (subway) and just as long to the grocery. That alone means it wasn't for us, but it was still good to take a look.

I thought a landed property would mean - oh I don't know - land. Uh no. The yard is the carpark that some folks have turned into living space. Also, there's a common STRIP of grass that everybody shares in the back that is used for drying laundry and walking to the pool. That's it. And oh - the washer/dryer is on the back porch, outside, sheltered from the rain.

These units do have a common pool, but it's not very fancy - not unlike a pool an American might have in her own backyard. 

Turns out landed houses are kind of like townhouses. The two units I saw here had a living room on the first floor, dining room and kitchen on the second floor, a master on the third, two small bedrooms on the top floor. The basement had small rooms, too. It made me think of living in Bronxville without the charm (or the fabulous neighbors I still miss to this day!) The second unit we saw had a sunken living room in the living room!

THE IMPERIAL

 

This is another new building around the corner from where we are now. I saw a 4+1 here that was 1905 square feet and the priciest of them all!

The main room was fabulous! The living room and dining room were together with a gorgeous treetop view. I could see the Marina Bay Sands Hotel (the one that looks like a boat on stilts) and a gorgeous Hindu temple that sits below the fabulous balcony. The kitchen was also pretty huge. U-shaped and recently upgraded, it opened to the living area. 

The bedrooms were really small and there was no extra room that might make a good play space - such a disappointment. Storage here also really sucked. Bummer. The main room was so nice, but it just wasn't going tocut it. By the way, here I learned that Asian king-sized beds are not even close to the same size as U.S. beds!

 

THE DRAYCOTT

This building is off of the other end of Orchard, closer to the kids' for-now school, my friend Heather's place and the Tanglin Mall (fondly known as the expat mall). The Draycott is a much older building with circular apartments. It's in a great location, but the pool and playground are pretty average. The lobby is in the middle of renovations.

We went to see an apartment on the 2nd floor and accidentally met another listing agent who showed us a 4+1 apartment on the 25th floor first. WOW! This place was HUGE! I loved it! I have no idea how big it was because we weren't supposed to be seeing it so the agent didn't have the details.

There was a giant circular living room with the dining area there as well. The kitchen was really large with an island and room for a breakfast table even. The 4th bedroom adjoined the helper's room. Odd because the helper's room was also accessible by an outside balcony that connected it to the kitchen as well as the powder room. Apparently, having the helper's room out on the back balcony is not that unusual. Who'd a thunk? There was lots of storage, as well.

 

The apartment on the 2nd floor was not for me. It was dark and smelled of mildew (proving Wendy's theory about upper vs. lower floors). The kitchen was brand spanking new, but only opened to the outside balcony (no wall!) and not the apartment. You'd literally have to walk outside to access the frig! Then again, it might be an excellent diet tool though not for the helper as the kitchen was conveniently located next to her room.

Of course, we're not renting anything today, but it's good to get a feel for what's here so we know what we'd need to make it work if we do come back. Wendy says rents go down in January as a lot of expats contracts are up and there are a lot more apartments available so landlords are more negotiable. Oh - by the way - the rent here is negotiated just like if you buy in the States. Wild! FYI, you can buy condos, but not land. Renovations are about half the price as in the U.S. too.

So there you have it. My first day of house hunting. I'm just thankful I don't have to pick a house like I would on the TV show. Say - if I come back, you think maybe I could do an episode of House Hunters here? Hmmmm....

Saturday
Aug252012

Happy Birthday, Maisie!!!

Where does the time go?! How could my little girl be four now? FOUR! I know, most of my friends are wondering how their kids could be heading off to college, but hey, I'm a late bloomer. My college roommate Brenda turned 50 yesterday! Some of my friends have GRANDKIDS! Still, I'm flabbergasted that my little girl has four years under her belt already.

The day started on such a high note. We skyped with Maisie's very best friend, Matilda! Watching two four-year-olds "talk" was pretty hysterical! Mostly, they just giggled. They we talked with Oma Annette & Opa (& Digby, our dog) and Uncle Murph & Tia Virginia then opened e-cards and presents. Life was great!

Then it wasn't so great. Hudson's diaper leaked AND he's getting his two-year-old molars so he was up all night which means that Maisie was up all night, too. That spells two, grumpy kids - and two grumpy parents. What fun for Mommy & Daddy!

Grumpy or not, we took them to a playgroup at their new school here. They won't start til September 10th, but the teachers wanted to observe the two of them, especially Maisie. She didn't have a banner day at this place, but they did have cupcakes for her so that cheered her up. The principal made them for her on her very first day! The best news is that they understand Maisie's special needs and are completely prepared to work with her. Yea! The school is doing the cutest unit this week all about construction. Adorable! Since Tom stayed the whole time (while I raced around doing birthday preps), this doesn't really count as Hudson's first day of school - soon, but not yet :-)

After school (and a nap by both), we raced off to yet another water park called Jurong East Swimming Complex. This is a public park, very cheap (admission for the four of us was $6!) and very local. In fact, I don't think I saw any other westerners there today though Tom said he saw a couple. 

 

This is SOME water park, massive in scope. It makes me think a little of Tibbits Park in Yonkers, a public park that was recently renovated, but this is far bigger. Jurong East was also recently renovated from what I understand. There is the largest water slide mixmaster I have ever seen. Then, of course, there's a water playground, the baby pool with a water umbrella. a jacuzzi pool with at least 7 different jacuzzi areas, a lazy river and a standard HEATED lap pool. The really interesting pool is the wave pool. Half the time, the wave pool is a zero entry pool with a double waterfall on one end made to look like it's coming out of a natural cliff. The other half? It's a raging sea.

As a quick aside: there is a huge difference in swim attire at a pool in Singapore. Some wear bikinis, some wear one pieces. Many Asians wear things that look like wetsuits, not necessarily to protect them from the sun, but because of their modesty and religion. And yes, there are some ladies dressed in bhurkas! What may crack me up the most is that the Western men wear the most modest swimsuits and the Western women are often in bikinis and it's just the opposite in other cultures. Ha!

 

The kids hated the water playground because the water was too cold. Bummer. That's the whole reason we took a $15 cab ride out there! Rather, we spent most of our time in the lap and wave pools. Tom threw Maisie in the air a zillion times and she practiced her strokes. Hudson had a ball running through the water. They were exhausted beyond belief tonight - a success!!

Happy birthday, my love! Happy birthday!

PS. Yes, yes, I still need to write about my Househunters International Day yesterday, but I'm too tuckered. Soon...