Entries by Melinda Murphy Hiemstra (112)

Thursday
Sep132012

SAIS

I'm kind of hating Singapore today. I'm not sure why exactly. I walked a lot and got really hot. True, I walked alot when I first got here, but lately I've taken more cabs and my patience for sweating has faded. Even so, I don't think my grumpiness is about the heat. Nope. I think it's about the schools. 

 

The thing about moving here is that schools in Singapore are among the best in the WORLD. Don't believe me?Read this article. The schools funded by the local government are pretty darn incredible. Even so, I have yet to meet an ex-pat who doesn't send their kid to one of the big international schools. The education is a big draw when families debate a move here.

Even better, most companies pay the steep tuitions. That wouldn't be the case for us and the money part would be a huge drag, but the finances aren't what have me blue. I'll leave that for Tom to get depressed about. Rather, I'm worried about Maisie and whether or not she can get into a good international school. Schools here do not receive additional funding for working with special needs kids so the schools aren't anxious to take a kid who needs additional help. I've been coached over and over about what I need to say to get Maisie help, but also get her into the school. That just seems wrong.

Heck, the entire reason we moved to Chappaqua is because the school district has a reputation for lavishing services on kids. When we return, Maisie is scheduled to get speech 2x a week, OT 2x a week and have a special teacher called a SEIT assigned to just her 5 days a week. I'm not so sure what I think about the SEIT, but the teacher was pretty adamant. Maisie has a lot of trouble transitioning from one thing to another in class. At some other school, she may not qualify for anything. Like I've said before, she doesn't LOOK like a kid who needs therapy. The whole therapy "game" is complicated.

Again, I keep telling myself she's better now and things are fine - that she doesn't need therapy. I think school is going okay though she has an intern assigned to just her to help her adjust. I think yesterday may have been a little bumpy. Today school was okay, but she had a really hard time after school and cried in the stroller on our walk home for 45 minutes and cried and cried again tonight for no real reason. She's crying because she's just so darn tired, but this is the kind of thing most four-year-olds are past. Now she's only going to school from 8:30-12:30. Most international schools would have her there til 3:30. I'm not sure how she can handle that. Her issues are at their worst when she's tired.

Today, I looked at The Stamford American School. SAIS wasn't really even on my radar until a friend told me she put her daughter there. Then, the pediatrician I saw also mentioned it saying it would have services to support Maisie so I figured I'd check it out.

Holy Mother of God... this is some school. You get what you pay for. SAIS has been around for a while (not sure exactly how long), but they just opened a brand, spanking new campus a month ago doubling the size of the students it can handle. So unlike almost every other international school here who have three-year wait lists, there are openings for both my kids. It starts a new term January 28th which just might work with our schedule.

The school is massive. I have never, ever seen a campus this large - anywhere. I dunno... maybe Plano high school with it's 2500 students is as big. I'm not sure, but this place is just huge.

They are still building the secondary school. Eventually, the school will go through 12th grade, but for now, it's only accredited til 9th as that process takes two years. When both buildings are complete, there will be two Olympic-plus sized pools, a rock wall, golf simulator, obstacle course, sports field, computer lab, indoor gyms, art rooms - all of it top notch.

I'm not sure what the teachers are like, but the facilities rock. If the academics match the building, then wow.

Kids can take either Mandarin or Spanish and choose between either an IB diploma or an American diploma. 

It's got the same kind of application fee/wait list racket as all the other schools which still just stuns me. There are facility fees, too - this on top of a huge tuition.

Tomorrow, I'm looking at the Singapore American School, the granddaddy of them all. Well, maybe it's the grandma. United World College won't even give me an appointment to see the place! That's what it's like to be number one here. As I hear it, UWC would never, ever take Maisie with her issues. 

Sigh.

 

 

Wednesday
Sep122012

I have arrived!

I finally made it to the Four Floors of Whores. 

Both my kids are in school so that meant I could take a morning out for myself and get a mani/pedi. The place to do it is Orchard Towers, affectionately known as the Four Floors of Whores. Why you ask? Because there are literally four floors of whores working there - or so rumor has it. I didn't go to any of the bars there though I'll admit, I did look around to see if I saw anybody going to "work," but it was only 9AM so I didn't really see anybody who looked - er - busy. Oh - it's not just women who work there. Nope. This is ladyboy country! Since I didn't see anything interesting, I suppose it's all the better that I didn't bring my camera. I'm pretty sick of lugging it around.

All the ladies getting their nails done were expats. To be the place to go, Bellissima wasn't very swank. I sat in one of the leather-ish, Lay-z boy type chairs. The nail technician sat on the floor and I soaked my feet in one of those vibrating tubs you can buy at WalMart. There was absolutely nothing fancy about it, but it wasn't too pricey and she did a good job. Of course, it was so dark in there that the pink I thought I picked is actually a DARK red. Oh well. It's Fall.

I wear sandals every single day and, if I lived here full time, I'd wear them all year around - though I hear there is a boot season here? Are you kidding me? BOOTS? It's nine million freakin' degrees twelve months a year! Of course, none of the stores here has my size here. I'm a - how I hate to admit this - a 12. That's a European 43! My feet used to be 11s, but after I had my babies, they grew. Wearing an 11 was bad enough. When the pimpled-face, college-age, shoes salesman measured my foot and pronounced they were now 12s, I burst into tears. Poor guy didn't know what to say!

Here? The biggest size I can possibly buy is a 40. I was feeling pretty blue about the whole Bigfoot thing until I heard that endless.com will deliver here - for FREE - if you spend more than $100 (or maybe it's $150?). I told the Aussie Heather about it and she got some shoes and they arrived in FOUR DAYS! Not only does it make sense for me to get shoes, but I can also get shoes for the kids. Children's shoes here got for - are you sitting down? - $125 or so a pop! 

Despite their giant size, my feet are the one thing I still like to dress up. They're long and skinny. The rest of me? Not so much.

If you're like me, you eat everything in sight on vacation and worry about losing the weight when you get home. Maybe you gain five pounds in a week. So what? It's just five pounds, right? Uh well, I've been "vacationing" for a couple of months now. Not good. Nope - not good at all. Look, I'm 5'10" and still a size 8 so it's not like I'm a candidate for one of these extreme makeover shows, but my 8s are getting a little too tight for comfort. Okay - they're a lot too tight.

For a while, I was hoping that Cheryl was shrinking my clothes. It could happen. The sad truth is, she's better with laundry than I am. Bummer. I've been eating everything that looks even slightly interesting. What if we don't come back to live here? I'd better try it now, right?

Now and then, I catch a glimpse of myself in a window or see a photo and think, 'God woman, get a grip!" Couple that with my BC haircut and I'm in trouble. What's that? Well, my friend Nickie calls bad haircuts, birth control haircuts. She's pretty darn funny that one.

Tom saw some diet food in the mall and picked a couple of boxes of the stuff. Since he's in Jakarta tonight (Jealous? Who me?) I figured I'd give one a try. 

When I was a correspondent at CBS, they had me go out and sample Meals-Ready-to-Eat, MREs - the meals our fighting men and women devour. They come in these foil packs and are PACKED with calories. They're okay. I should know. I think I ate 12 of them in one day. I can't remember the exact count any more. I've tried to block it out of my mind. I get sick just thinking about it.

Tonight's meal was called Curry Chicken Hor Fun and it came in the same kind of foil packet.

The box says it has 98% fewer calories than the real stuff. What? Then I realized why. The real stuff has - are you sitting down - 16,100 calories. SIXTEEN THOUSAND! The diet box has 2400 calories (which isn't exactly 98% fewer, is it?) Okay - I'm wrong. Turns out 1 kcal is the same as 1 calorie when you use it on food labels. That still feels wrong. Anyway, this diet food supposedly has 226 calories. The dish has noodles and a curried chicken sauce. 

So can you see why I'm confused? I mean, I can't even read the damn label when it's written out. How am I supposed to figure out what I'm eating on a daily basis? I do know the daily ice cream had to stop a while back. The first month I was just so darn hot that I let myself eat ice cream figuring pushing the double stroller was burning things off. Ha.

I think the real reason it has 98% fewer calories is because nobody can choke the stuff down. Not only is it bad, but it's REALLY spicy .... and I like spicy!

Oh well - enough about my lack of willpower. Let's just say I'm looking forward to my Lean Cuisines when I get home!

Of course, I had to sport my "new" figure in front of my friend Joy and her son Andrew today. We hosted the playgroup this afternoon and since we don't have a lot of toys with us, I suggested we all swim. Joy and Andrew were the only ones to make it. That seems pretty common. This Wednesday group has only had one meeting with more than me and one other mom since I came. In a way that's nice because you get to chat with other women one-on-one.

Me being me, I put out a kiddie snack spread anyway. I even made little mice out of strawberries. Cheryl thought I was off my rocker. Her kids eat anything they are offered. Sadly, I get the feeling they aren't offered food nearly often enough. Anyway, after two hours of swimming plus a morning of school, both kids were FAMISHED - and exhausted. They were both in bed by 6:20, 40 minutes early!

As for school, both kids are adjusting really well. Hudson seems to be getting the hang of it now though he still cries when I drop him off and is super excited to see me at the end of the day clinging to me like a bad dryer sheet. Maisie cries when we leave because she doesn't want to leave her three Asian friends. She can't tell me their names (maybe she can't pronounce their names?), but she doesn't want to leave them. 

Hudson's teachers sent pictures yet again! Lucky me!

 

Tuesday
Sep112012

An Anniversary Spent Abroad

Most nights, I wake up around 2 or 3 and glance over my email. Simply, I don't have a clock by my bed so I look at my phone to see the time. One thing leads to another and I end up checking to see if there's anything urgent I need to know. It's a stupid habit because my 2AM is my peeps back home 2PM. The email que is pretty long. The emails get my mind going and I'm up for a while sometimes. Sigh. Thank goodness I don't need much sleep.

This morning, my friend and photographer from the helicopter, Chet emailed me to say he knew it was already 9/11 where I am and that he was thinking about. Truth is, I always think about him and Rey, our pilot, and Daniella, our producer on the anniversary of the attacks. I think about every single detail of that day actually. 9/11 was such a big part of my life, both personally and professionally. It's really odd to be here for the anniversary.

Not one soul has mentioned it here today. Granted, I didn't see the news until this evening, but I did read a good portion of the International Herald Tribune. I turned on a couple of US news channels and the mention of the anniversary was very brief. It's so odd. How can that be? How can it be 11 years already? 

The big news here is a visit from the British royals. Kate is wearing lots of long sleeves from what I can see. She amazes me.

Meanwhile, today was the second day of school. Both kids flew out of bed full of vim and vigor. Eating breakfast took an HOUR. Come on, kids! An hour? I made homemade French toast, their favorite. I'm a stickler about breakfast so they ate before we left and somehow we made it on time, but grrr.

Hudson WAILED with every ounce of his being when I left him at school this morning. He put his shoes back on and tried to run after me even. I called a half hour later and he was a happy camper and apparently had a much better day today than yesterday. I think his cold is a little better today, too, though the teacher said his nose was runnier today. I didn't see that. 

Maisie had a big smile on her face all day. She is just so happy to be back in school. Schedules are good for kids. More so? I think she was really lonely. Now she has friends her age, albeit most of them are Asian. I think that's cool. She doesn't tell me much about her day, but I know she's happier. She said, "Yea, I like the school, but I can't wait to go back to my old school." 

Even though I like WeeCare, it's not the place for them forever. It's in a mall, right? Yes, there's an outdoor, private, rooftop playground and the teachers seem fantastic, but it's still in a mall. So today I saw Eton House, a very reputable, massive preschool in Asia. It's a child-driven, inquiry-based INTENSE program that follows the International Baccalaureate curriculum

 

It was impressive, pure and simple. The outside area is massive. Each class does some pretty cool art projects. The stuff they're tackling felt like 3rd grade, not pre-K. Wow. There are 34 nationalities at one school. I love that!

 

The school thing is a racket here. You have to put down massive deposits to be wait-listed - deposits you often lose. If they call you with a spot and you don't take it, you lose the money. If you leave one school to go to another, better one, you lose it. If you move home and don't give them 8 weeks notice and they call you for the wait list, you lose it. The list goes on.

Figuring out what school can take both Maisie and Hudson, when the wait list might open for each, which one has therapy for her and all those other details is very complicated. The deposit becomes the registration fee, a fee you never get back, but you only pay once. For Hudson, it's worth it to go there because he can be there for several years thus amortizing the registration fee. Maisie would pay a massive fee to go one year - on top of her already steep tuition. 

Man, again I wish we were Exxon employees. Big companies pay the schools lots of dough to give favor to their kids when it comes to wait lists. These companies also pay school tuition at the age of 3. That is a BIG deal. 

All to say, I'm looking at lots of schools over the next couple of weeks. What a pain!

Anyway - when we got home from school, Hudson had two bites of his lunch then literally flung himself into bed and took a two hour nap. Afterwards, we walked over to his golf lesson. The teachers tried and tried to convince him otherwise, but Hudson refuses to bend: he is a lefty, pure and simple. Sorry - no pictures allowed! He also has a hockey stance. Maybe I've got him in the wrong sport. Of course, hockey isn't exactly big here, now is it?

Monday
Sep102012

The first day of school - ever!

The morning was mostly filled with smiles and giggles, but a few tears wiggled their way into the mix, too. Oh yea - the same went for Maisie and Hudson.

There's something bittersweet about your kid going to school for the very first time. On one hand, you're just so darn happy for your kid to have a new experience in life - and to get yourself some longed-for, much-needed free time. On the other hand, your baby is growing up. My kids are no longer babies - and I'll never have a baby again. Time is flying and while it's wonderful and the way it should be, it's also a bit hard to say goodbye to the infant stage. Babies are just so - I dunno - baby-like!

So I was the one cooing over each of them as they waited for the taxi. Yes, taxi. I know most kids ride in the back of their mommy's SUV or take a bus. Here in Singapore when you don't have a car and the school doesn't have bus service and it's too far to walk, you take a taxi. Maisie thought they were taking the cab by themselves because that's what you do in a bus. She told the driver, "Please take me to school. Bye Mommy!" and started to shut the door and wave goodbye. Ha! The whole trip there she told the driver that today was her first day of school and it was Hudson's first day, too. 

For once, I was smart. I didn't tell Maisie she was starting school until she woke up. That way, she was really well rested. Oh my gosh, she was excited! She got dressed right away this morning and even joyfully had her hair brushed! I was worried about Hudson as he'd been sick yesterday and coughed like a seal a few times during the night.  Even so, he woke up with his usual ultra cheer so he got to start today, too.

The drop off couldn't have been easier. Both kids RAN into school. Here things are a little different though. Just like at all the indoor playgrounds, each kid must have his temperature taken as well as his mouth, hands and throat examined before entering the building. This is because Foot & Mouth disease is so prevalent here. It's not the same as Hoof & Mouth disease that animals get. Rather, this makes your mouth and throat so sore that you can't swallow and some kids end up getting really sick from lack of nutrition.

What really helped with Maisie? The staff had put two My Little Pony ponies on the desk at the front door for her. I mean, what American school does that? You know what else American schools don't do? Incorporate Mandarin lessons into class, but both my kids needed Chinese books for class. Cool!

Once they passed the temperature test, they both flew down the hall with nary a goodbye.

I wiped a tear, did a little jig and then met my Aussie friend Heather (not to be confused with the American Heather) for breakfast at an Australian placed called Jones the Grocer in an area known as Dempsey Hill. How could I possibly have missed Dempsey Hill so far? It's the kind of place I LOVE, filled with stores packed to the brim with cool, imported antiques and trinkets from afar. 

Of course, the second I sat down, the phone rang - every mother's fear the first day of school. Sure enough, they were calling about an hour after I'd dropped them off because Hudson was having a bit of a hard time. He would play for a bit then break down into tears and start calling, "Mommy." He'd be sad for a bit and then they'd distract him and he'd go on his merry way. We decided that I'd come at 11:15 to pick him up rather than 12:30. His class gets out at 11:30, but he's supposed to hang out with the teachers til 12:30 when Maisie gets out. 

Truth? I was a bit happy he missed me. Maisie never did. It's nice to be loved - as long as it doesn't become a huge problem. 

Just like the kids needing distracting, so did I. Heather and I poked around in the shops for a while and then I buzzed back to the school. Hudson was a happy camper, even before he saw me, but oh did his face light up when he realized I was there. He flew into my arms and screamed, "Mommy!" then giggled and giggled. I gave him a tiny, chocolate car I found at Jones the Grocer. He was ecstatic. He kept saying, "More car!" making his teachers laugh.

The teachers said they took pictures of him in the class for me and would send them to me at the end of the week. I got them by the end of the day! I love this school.

While we waited for Maisie, Hudson and I went across the street to Tanglin Mall, the expat mall, and bought a few snacks for our playdate this week (we're hosting a swim date at the apartment). He rode in some of the goofy car rides and then we went back to pick up Maisie.

Maisie? She had a great day until the very end when she started to get tired and wanted to be a sheep in a play they were doing about sheep. I never quite got the full story. She has an intern assigned to just her for the first week to help her adjust. WOW! The biggest sign she liked it here was that she was crying because she didn't want to go home. Hudson cried hysterically when he got home out of hunger more than anything I think. Cheryl had lunch for us all waiting. What a morning! I had time to myself and lunch was prepared for them without my effort! Both ate dumplings and BOTH went to bed to take a nap! I like this school thing!!!

Whew. Mission accomplished! I now have two kids in school - in a foreign land! I've done it. I've raised my babies and they are little people now. Excuse me while I go cry a little bit more.

Monday
Sep102012

Meanwhile, back home....

The fifth member of Team Hiemstra is our dog, Digby. I'm not sure who misses her more, me or Maisie.

Dig has been staying with Tom's dad and stepmother on their farm in upstate New York. That dog may have had the best summer vacation of any living soul on the planet. Every day, she and her boyfriend dog Wilem have been swimming, hiking, chasing balls and eating gourmet food. Digby is in the best shape of her life!

She wrapped up her summer with a trip to Lake George that included four dogs in total as well as our niece and nephew. That's one lucky pup - and we're lucky to have family like Jippe and Annette. Of course, Tom's mom has been taking care of our mail which is another kind of huge responsibility. I don't know what we'd do without any of them!

Tom's dad and stepmother have to return to life in New York City so Digby has moved to a new location, the Reilly household which is about 5 minutes from our house in Chappaqua. Finley takes swimming with Maisie and her mom Danielle and I got to be good friends while the two girls paddled around the pool. Their golden retriever died this year so they immediately raised their hand when I was talking about what to do with Digby. The family includes three kids, each more excited than the other to have a dog in the house. We are so lucky to have friends like them! Truth is, not only do I miss Digby, but I miss folks like Danielle and my family.

Digby is getting lots of love and lots of walks, but I'm a LITTLE worried that she's wondering why she didn't go home - back to her family - back to us. Yup, I'm definitely worried about her mental health, but I know she's being treated like a royal queen. I'm also worried their kids will get too attached to her. How could they not? She's a great dog!

Just in case we're moving here for good, Digby will start her shots while we're gone. If she starts now, she'll only have to be quarantined for 10 days rather than 30! 

Oh Dig... I miss you. All I want to do is rub your soft, fuzzy head. Sniff.